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toy

I so identify with this! We never had any money growing up, and though Mum & Dad always managed to feed us, it was touch and go sometimes. I remember my brother and I used to snack on uncooked spaghetti, you know, the hard stuff in the packets from the supermarket. We didn't think anything of...

I don't know if this helps at all, but I am discovering dissociated parts (it's still unclear). I think one of them is dead, but she is a younger version of me. I only know of her from dreams. I think she is around when I'm very dissociated. In my dreams, she doesn't do anything, and is...

whale

frog (as in Kermit)

I've been "out of it" for many months. I kind of came back to myself about a week ago, funnily it was by seeing the cover of Hitchhiker's Guide (LOL), as I had begun to read it again quite some time ago, and then dissociated I guess. Seeing it made me feel like me again, and I've been...

To all of you who might still be around and somehow remember me, I'm back, kind of. I say kind of, as I've "come back to myself" so to speak, and I'm afraid of losing that (by triggering stuff). So I'm gonna have to be careful what I read at the moment, though I want to support others. I...

I have screamed every now and then, even often in the last 6 months, in flashbacks. The thing is, I had "left the building" so to speak, and wasn't "there" to ground myself, as I can sometimes do. I heard myself screaming, but wasn't in my body, and it was like someone else was screaming. How...

@FindingMyself88 I am so very glad you reached out for help, and had a good experience from doing so. Glad to hear you are stable now. Like brat says, just ease into life again. Take it slow, and take care of yourself. You are worth it. :hug: if that's ok!

Thanks guys. I kind of dropped out for a bit there, but I really appreciate your support. I panicked a bit about this. I am still ok, now. Before I would have still been messed up. I don't really know what happened. My husband was tired and became nasty and impatient with our son who was...

Thank you Echo, you are so lovely. My husband was furious, swore at me profusely and punched a hole in the wall. It just brought me back to childhood and my father. My husband called it "cranky", and felt justified in losing it too. I think now that it's the emotional abuse and fear of my...

I made a big mistake. :banghead: I thought I was "cured" because my 3 year old fragmented part seemed to be gone. I think she is still gone, I don't think I can feel her, but I've been triggered tonight. That's the disappointing part - I was silly enough to think it wouldn't happen again, as...

I second what Laurie said - I know I leaned on this forum in the days after EMDR, and it helped me so much.

Hi @billie . I found both to be pretty rough, in different ways. If you're prone to dissociation, you may find it happens more, or more intensely, after EMDR. I agree with the others, grounding and self-soothing are really important afterwards. Try to have a quiet couple of days if you can...

I meant to say, outside of the sexual abuse, my father made me feel women were inferior. His derogatory treatment of myself and my mother, along with his putting himself and my brothers on a pedestal (though only behind their backs, they were emotionally abused too) meant that I came to think...

My abuser was male, but it hasn't affected my attraction to men, perhaps mainly because I had no memory of the event. The difficulties my trauma has caused in this area has been periods of being completely averse to sexual contact, and periods of being hypersexual and totally insatiable. Even...

@Hope4Now I've been asleep, it has been overnight for me since my last post, that's why I might have seemed to "drop out" of the conversation. I LOVE that this discussion is happening, and it is needed for many of us. If my 3 year old was still here (and I still can't quite believe she is...

That's for sure. Things are only clear to me now she's gone. This might be a clue. Maybe she needs to be listened to, rather than talked to.

Yes, this is how it was for me too. For the last 6 months very much so. I get that. My child part was suicidal, and I was afraid of doing something in that state when at other times I had no desire to do that. I would also punch myself in the head at times when triggered, and I suspect she...

I've changed my avatar, to reflect the big change that has occurred for me. I find myself really feeling so sorry for my fragmented part, now that she's gone and not taking over anymore, as she carried the weight of that horror for decades, always stuck at 3 with nobody's comfort, support or...

I am still doing ok. My fragmented 3 year old part really does seem to have gone away, or integrated, or something. I can't feel her there. I even dare to say I feel good. I didn't think I'd be writing those words a week ago! Hugs to all who need them. @therisa I hope you are doing ok...

@FindingMyself88 What a strong thing you have done, to go to the hospital and reach out for help. I'm really, really proud of you. You are taking control. My thoughts are with you, hope you are getting the care and support you deserve.

@franciemarnie No, you absolutely didn't hijack! Thank you so much for posting that, it's great to read how others have managed to work with their parts. I'm so very happy that this thread is proving useful for many of you, but especially that it's validating others - I love that. :)

@Bedbug I did start reading it. I got to the infant chapter, but could not bring myself to go further to my 3 year old self. It seemed too dangerous. If I roused that part, she was too much for me to handle. Might be ok to go there now, though I find I still feel nervous about it. It's...