Well I Got Released From The Psych Unit Today.

[FindingMyself88]

I am not sure if this is the right forum so if it isn't, admins please move it.

Some of you were helping encourage me when I was having suicidal thoughts last week and in the end I ended up going to the ER with my roommate. After waiting almost 12 hours, I was admitted to the hospital's psychiatric care ward for a suicidal attempt. I didn't full attempt to overdose on medicine, ended up just overdosing enough on my klonopin and risperidal to sedate me pretty heavy. I spent a total of 5 and a half days in there. It was the most scariest but life changing time of my life.

The biggest thing I had to learn is that it is okay to not be okay and ask for help. Only my pastors, my roommate, and a few family members know. Long story short they adjusted my medications, and I am staying in touch with a psych OT plus I am now going to be seeing a Trauma therapist alongside my regular therapist.

I am sorry I cannot share more right now, but I am emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. Thank you guys for all the support.

 

[mamachick]

I am sorry that it got to that point. Take your time easing yourself back into your everyday life. I think coming that close and spending time there helps put things in perspective. As you said, it is a time for reaching out to those who are there for you and can help.

 

[macca]

@FindingMyself88 I am so very glad you reached out for help, and had a good experience from doing so. Glad to hear you are stable now. Like brat says, just ease into life again. Take it slow, and take care of yourself. You are worth it. :hug: if that's ok!

 

[FindingMyself88]

Thank you both. I was physically and mentally too exhausted to post much yesterday, still struggling today. I never knew how exhausting depression could be until now. Wednesday night I took like 8 of my Klonopin and was about to take the entire bottles of mini press and lisinopril. Something stopped me and fear creeped in. I called my roommate at work and told her and we went to the ER. I was admitted early the next morning into the unit. I was terrified.

It was a good and bad thing. The bad thing is they have to put someone who is suicidal on the acute unit for 48 hours and then can move you. The other unit was full. So I was stuck with people who were severely more sick mentally than me and fights broke out like crazy. fights are a trigger for me and I would end up at least once a day every day in my room, in the floor on a corner, in a full blown panic attack. There was only one night PCT (patient care tech) that knew how to calm me and ground me during these panic attacks. Later I found out its because she has had some sort of trauma herself.

The good stuff is that I was able to contact my pastor and assistant pastor and there wives and some of them came to visit me. I still get teary eyed thinking of the fact that they still love me and aren't disappointed in me. I fully expected everyone to be mad at me. Even my mom has been very supportive through this. I am learning it's okay not to be okay, as long as I reach out for help and am honest. My pastors all thought I was doing great because I told them I was. Another thing is just being locked away like that gave me time away from my troubles. I was able to focus on me. They also had Occupational Therapists come daily and I became close with one of the ladies. So close in fact that she gave me her contact info and wants me to stay in touch with her.

Overall I am glad I did it. Typically they keep a suicide attempt for at least a week but they let me out because my anxiety was made worse there plus I agreed to follow up with my psychiatrist and counselor. On top of this I have made an appointment with a Trauma female therapist who does a wide array of things to help with PTSD such as EMDR and mindfulness.

Some good news I got today is that my application for the service dog will be reviewed in just 2-3 weeks and when I explained how desperate I am, the lady told me I should be paired with a dog and attending training classes within 2 months. Once we reach a certain point I'll be able to bring him/her home and finish training.

I am still feeling very weak, so I am not planning to do much. I am going to see one of my really close friends whom I had texted the first day I became suicidal. She has been worried about me. Then I am going to meet my pastors at the church office to talk with them and be prayed for.