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Beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing! This is exactly what I'm trying to get at.

"I have way bigger fish than you could ever be." In my definition this is an expression of a self defensive mechanism of an ego. you are certainly welcome to your opinion, I keep saying this. I've probably said this about 10 times just today. but this looks quite disrespectful to me. "You’re...

I have given likes to every single person on this thread, regardless of the egotism and snarkiness LOL! This thread was only about my experience, your mileage may vary. But it seems like I stepped on some egos as well! I'm just saying that after many years of trying to medicate myself, many...

Yes this is classical textbook. Thanks for sharing again as this was at least 50 messages back.

Can you point exactly to where I was painting with a broad stroke? I was referring a number of times to my experiences in the Amazon here in South America. And ego is very much open to interpretation. For me , it is the classical conditioning of the autonomic nervous system, along with the...

Did you p.m. them to me? If so I never got anything in my inbox? please send them again! Well you're certainly welcome to your opinion. I totally respect that. But I think that it's rather ignorant to assume that I am on a Carlos Castaneda trip and that my personal Journey indicates a...

And yes it was disrespectful to imply that I'm on some Carlos Castaneda trip. That is projection. Plus Carlos Castaneda had anglophile North American biases and was very self-indulgent. I'm just talkin about my own experience. And you can take it or leave it as well.

I welcome all of your opinions! this is the part that I found disrespectful. "I worry, as others have pointed out, that ego dissolution may actually be suicidal ideation and not some Carlos Castaneda psychedelic enlightenment trip." I find that this is just not the case. And I am working on...

Again, a little respect would be nice. Although I respect your opinion, I have taught over a thousand nurses and doctors physiology, pathology, Immunology, pharmacology, advanced microbiology, and so forth. If you want to we can get into a debate. But I'm not going to throw insults at you. I'm...

UPDATE I know it's been a few weeks since I've posted and I really appreciate it everybody's support and feedback in my posts. Number one, it is been roughly seven weeks since I quit my marijuana habit of 27 years. Like a bunch of phlegm that's being broken up, I'm dissociating a lot less. But...

First off, I would appreciate just a little bit more respect. I don't didn't want to bring this up , but I do have a PhD in human physiology and Neuroscience so I'm not exactly talking out my rectum whole :-). Now, what I am speaking of in this realm it's not really Theory , I'm sure you can...

I think you misunderstand me. It's not necessarily about sitting and staring at a wall. It's about not engaging executive functioning when doing activities, thus possibly allowing damaged circuits in the frontal lobe to reconstruct themselves. this may not be the same for everyone, but for...

Wow! Thank you so very much!

The Ayahuasca in the San Pedro we're just sort of the beginning of it. along with hanging out with the indigenous, it's like I got a good taste of the relief. But I still had this discomfort deep inside of me, and was still plagued buy a boat load of terrible symptoms. But it got me out of the...

Thank you for your awesome response! Like I said earlier in this thread, which is getting awesomely long and involved, which is completely cool, that I use hex rhetorically. I could just say bad luck. Bad luck seems to follow people who have suffered childhood trauma oh, and the more trauma, it...

I am hearing you, you're telling me the effects of stress. But can you tell me the actual definition of stress? And damn straight the effects of stress can be classically conditioned into the ego. Why else are we here identifying ourselves as victims of C PTSD? I came here originally five or six...

You've told me what stress does, so we see the effects oh, but you haven't told me what stress is. Again I will refer to the obscene pornography reference, difficult to Define, but we know it when we see it or feel it! Thanks again for your thoughts! That is really funny! I personally do not...

You are so sweet! Thank you for your very nice words! You may have explained it better than me. In Buddhism there is a term called dukkah. I believe the direct translation means an axle that is not exactly fitted within the wheel. at first oh, it's really no big deal, but as the vehicle speeds...

oh no, I am probably the most sober I've ever been in my life. And I thank you for your comment. I think what you might have missed is that we can reprogram our own reality. some people may call this turning things over to God, or Allah, or whomever. When Things become unmanageable, and you've...

yes, it is my inner critic and my willful Ego. I am in underearners anonymous, which is a fascinating program that has a lot of people who have worked multiple 12-step programs, and still wonder why life is so stuck. as a result of this forum, my 12-step work, and thinking things through, I...

I hear what you're saying, but there are tons of spiritual teachers who have practiced ego dissolution based on spiritual practices of 1000 + years that would disagree. there are the indigenous that I have interacted with who have 5000 year old practices in the Amazon that would disagree as...

part of this is bad decisions, but the statistical anomaly cannot explain a simple cause and effect. And it cannot explain either effects on the immune and endocrine systems 30, 40, in 50 years down the road.

oh yes, going through that 4th step really opened my eyes. I'm not in Alcoholics Anonymous, but I'm in another compulsive behavioral group. It is all basically the same anyhow. I believe that those who have good sponsors and who really work the steps like a mother, reprogram this reality. for...

Okay peeps, I am very grateful for your wonderful replies and responses on my other thread. I want to discuss with you something that has been brewing in my head for a long time. And maybe some solutions. I am an aspie and I was basically born a scientist. Even before I was trained as one, I was...

very good and solid reply there!