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@amethist I am unable to delete mags. I followed your instruction, but it gives me error message when I do try to select and select " leave conversation "
@shimmerz I will get on the phone with him either today or tomorrow? I'm having anxiety though. I think once said and done , it is either this side or the other side. You can't play both fences, and me trying to make him happy during the divorce is causing me unhappiness. Because in the big...
@ shimmerz He is going to give me the dogs but I just dont have room for them at my moms right now . Yea, I'll look the counselling centers if he refuses to Pay. Our relationship was all about me being very dependent as he took care or should I say control of everything. He doesn't listen...
@shimmerz my family is the only who knows whats going on. Friends dont undersrand ptsd and are mote gossipy versus really understanding. I dont want to deal with gossip or go through all this in front of public. I put a fake front for now. But i cry and cry . I am staying at my moms but he was...
@shimmerz
@digger
I found out that there is a mediation center that offers free service so I will look more into that. Should I be telling my husband that this viciousness is not me but my attorney?? I know it is hard to be on the same side as we are two parties fighting divorce but amicability...
@intothelight
@Meadowsweet
The attorney doesnt get paid anything as he was assigned to be by the local support group. yea, he is fighting my case, and wants the best for me. I am so torn.THis is the one of the hardest thing I had to do in my life, Not sure if i ever want to get married and I am...
@Meadowsweet
I didn't choose a vicious attorney, I was ASSIGNED an attorney for PROBONO (which means for free) from the county as I cant afford one. To me amicability would be for him to continue to pay (for my physiological things such as rent, food, car etc like necessary items to get by)...
@Meadowsweet
@shimmerz
@intothelight
Thank you, to all three of you. I have gained a lot of insight on things. As you know a little background on my case, I dont know if I am feeling normal or am I Over thinking. As of right now, even with the 2 month separation, my husband has supported me...
@Meadowsweet
"You can cut off ties with a significant other if there are no children involved, with family, it depends on the family. If the family is abusive, then yes, people do cut off ties and that can free them from the abusive situation.
The other way that I found, is to have something...
@shimmerz wow, I am getting deeper and deeper in touch with my feelings with your post. I have definitely contributed him in feeling that way. Because, I was ignorant to his PTSD I threw a tantrum as to why I wasn't getting any attention and lot of times, I threatened his job by complaining it...
@Meadowsweet
You mentioned above in your post about you walking away from people who cause you to trigger your symptoms. Hypothetically, if those people was your significant other or a close family member who you can't just cut off ties with all together. What would it take for you to get over...
@shimmerz thanks for your kind words. He has not apologized for any of his mistakes but when I point out what he did was wrong, he says " please, don't talk about this as I feel guilty and I cant afford spiral further down in his PTSD" .
I definitely feel he has ptsd issues and I also feel...
@shimmerz I almost want to be a emotionally unavailable person because I am hurting so bad that I would never want. Exptionally, I am at a better place now but there are definitely days where I am driving, I feel so hopeless , I end up crying.
He said he would pay for my therapist and help...
@shimmerz that is so sad , i dont undwrsrand why someone would hang a hope of reconcilation and play with emotions just waiting to screw them at the end. When you found out , did you confront him? Also, did he show any guilt or give an apology or realize his mistakes at some point?
@shimmerz what do you mean listening to the taping. Were you recording your conversation so you could improve communication or was he cheating and you found that out through the recorder
This is where it gets confusing, sometimes its hard for me to know if it is his ptsd, pure manipulation or...
@shimmerzWe can all empathize but cant feel the same feeling or depth of hurt. As another woman, goig thtough divorce, we have the same vanatage point but we dont have the same experience. I have good days and bad days. Honestly, I look forward to seeing/talking to him but those are the harder...
There is no dwelling on any anofy hurt. If i was dwelling then I wouldn't be here trying to learn and empower myself with knowledge. I have a marriage to save , do you think u can empathize with my situation. No, and that's because u only know the depth of hurt and loss when you wlam in their...
@0311Wife i feel like every time i talk to my husband, i always end up crying afterwards. Just feeling unwanted and rejected and lack
Of interest amazes me. How can one change from one spectrum to the other. The days i dont talk to him are the easiest days. But like you, i want to work it out...
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@Solara
Everybody is different but if someone did ,I would love them to point out my flaws because I am In this forum to learn and have an open mind. I would have never learnt if something drastic wouldn't haven't happened to me in my own relationship. You are venting about my topic ...
@Solara listing things that a sufferer does is not to hurt a sufferer. It is for me to understand what goes in their mind so I can angle myself in my own relationship for my own sufferer. Who is anyone to complain about a topic botheringn certain members?? Do you think people dont jump from...
@Aching65 You are right! I am looking forward to learn not to be questioned by members who are too engulfed in the " topic " but not the real reason. Just like you, im new and we are looking to find everytjing and anything about it. Im not worried about a " topoc " bothering some members...
@digger i am new to this forum. I am willing to do anything and everything for my husband. I found this forum and it felt like God sent . But it amazes me how some members are so caught up in figuring out or questioning the "topic" of this thread which is not significant at all but fail to...