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Sorry, I appreciate your opinion, but you don't know what I need. I know what I need. And what I need is closure.

I've been meditating on each possibility. Still no clear answer on what I should do.

I never said I wanted to message him. I don't have the guts to. But, it's if I ever see him, face to face again, if I confront him or run in the other direction.

My therapist is kink aware, yeah. She finds it interesting that I can still be a part of the scene despite all that's happens to me. How I can still let someone else take control, willingly, and be okay with it. Kink helps. It's somewhat cathartic. I'm a Sadomasochist. I give as good as I take...

No, it's not the same. The situation I posted about in November was about my ex boyfriend. And I do. She's just been busy, and so have I been.

Yes, I am prepared for him to tell me that he was fully aware of what he was doing, that he knew I was being serious. To me, either outcome is closure. Either forgiving him, or accepting that he is a monster and being able to look him in the eye and tell him that he doesn't scare me anymore.

That was directed at Solara for trying to educate me on something I researched intensely before entering the scene.

I already said once before that he suggested it and I. Said. No. I had not gone down there to play. I had gone down there to reconnect with a very dear friend that I hadn't seen in three months. I was having a rough time at work and I needed a break. So he said to come down for movies and pizza...

Don't you dare lecture me about BDSM. I have been a part of the scene for five years and I am FULLY aware of the importance of safewords and safe gestures. I did not go down there for play. It was suggested by him, and I said no. Because I was in a relationship. I had mentioned to him a...

Do you know what consensual non-consensual is? Play. Not real. And I'm not keeping tabs on him. He showed up in my suggested friends on facebook. I couldn't believe that it was the same guy so I looked at his profile once. And it was him. And where did I say I was finding it hard to accept I...

A bit of an update. My boyfriend told me that he knew this guy, that his ex had dated him, and he told me that he did the same thing to this girl, as he did to me and my exes ex. Not only that, there was someone before her. Same story. With the anal, and the sex while they're asleep, and the...

I am currently dealing with an issue that is legitimately making me lose sleep. The Universe has seen fit to bring back into my life the man who raped me three years ago. Apparently, he unblocked me on Facebook. I can see all of his status updates, all of his photos. I just can't comment or...

That was hard to read. The parts about the social isolation... he did that to me. Gods above...

The more I think about it, the more I see a pattern with the people he's dated. Both me and his ex are strong willed, but we both have immense self esteem issues, we both suffer from depression and lack of confidence. This new girl he's going out with... she's the same. Damaged, like me and his...

It was ages ago, and he was very drunk. Outside a bar owned by a close friend of mine, who's on my side. Said friend told me that if my ex ever started with me, he would look the other way if I defended myself. Plus there's cctv. I know I'd be under scrutiny too. But I haven't seen nor heard...

He isn't still in my life. I see him now and again in passing and I always feel afraid. He did once try to speak to me and I snapped at him. He was prodding me with a toy fairy want and I did threaten to shove it up his backside if he kept doing it. Rather poetic, his ex thought when I told her...

It's just driving me nuts, and I'm losing sleep over this. I have a support network called WRASAC helping. I might ask my support worker to come along if I do report. I know it would hold more ground because his ex reported him. The reason why it never went any further was because he has a damn...

I'm just terrified of not being believed again. Because of what I get up to in the bedroom, the fact that I am in a D/s relationship... I'm afraid that they'll judge me again... that somehow he'll be exempt because it was "play".

I haven't been to this forum in a while... things have been tough for me. I broke up with the guy I was dating while I was here, and as soon as the rose tinted glasses came off did I realise what he had done to me. Emotional abuse, guilt tripping me into having sex with him, and raping me. I...

I reckon that if I wasn't ready to face these things I wouldn't be remembering them. I have so many issues because of my Mother and my sister, issues that only recently I've been able to explain because of these flashbacks. And they are horrible. So many things make sense now and I feel sick and...

She works for WRASAC who provide alternative therapies for trauma. She is qualified, as are all employees of wrasac, to do CBT and other forms of therapy. My diagnosis came from a psychologist, my GP and my support worker.

A few things were brought to light in therapy about when I was a toddler. I'd been having flashbacks of my older sister making me do things. It's difficult to talk about still. There are also flashbacks of my Mother not looking after me. I remember screaming and crying for her and she never...

Endorphins are the thing that makes pain bearable. It's like adrenaline. They're addictive because they make you feel good. Makes you feel alive. There are support groups you can go to to help you with these feelings.

Some aren't as strong as others. Doesn't mean they're weak or selfish for giving up. Just means they couldn't handle it as well as others. Some people cannot deal wih it no matter what they do to fix it.

Not sure if you're responding to me or not, but I'll reply anyway. The selfishness is of those who try and stop someone who cannot be helped. I've been the selfish one before, talking people down from suicide. I've also been suicidal, more so since my trauma. Though there's a difference between...