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@Notsowild , I have issues of my own from childhood, though they manifest in severe anxiety (for which I use medications) as opposed to PTSD, so I can relate to the sense of being 'damaged goods'. Anyway, this is beside the point... When I first met my beloved man, I could see that he would only...

@Notsowild , As someone in love with a man with PTSD, I can tell you that one is in love with the person, not the illness. You are you, with your personality and your little unique ways. That is what one falls in love with. That is why they will want you. PTSD is a bugger but any person that...

Hi, I'd just like to add my two cents here with my own experience of the same issue. My C also finds it much easier to spend time in his work and with his family than with me. I used to get very very upset (I am very insecure, so I thought he just did not care about me). Eventually I asked him...

Hi Gingerly, You had a 4 years long relationship with your ex. Was he a sufferer during that time? How was your relationship with him then? Hugs for you, I have had a taste of this (6 months) and it is so so hard. You be strong.

Welcome to the forum. As a support (of a lost relationship?) myself, I can tell you that this forum has saved me from complete madness. Do you feel like sharing the dynamics that tend to take place between you and her? What are you hoping for? Hugs to you. We all here know how hard this is...

Gosh...I am feeling the exact pain as you are, so I do really understand. You are really not alone. It actually amazes me how very similar the stories we share are... Like you, I have abandonment issues. So it is not a surprise that we crave that 'fairy tale' attachment to someone, where it...

I am so angry that, for the first time in my life (at 35), you stole my heart for real. I am angry that I just adore you so so much, that I know I will never meet someone whom I will adore as much as you. I am angry that you told me that you knew me, that I was not a stranger the very first time...

@SwordsMistress , I can feel your pain and your fear. Our parents are supposed to give us unconditional love and, when they do not, we may obsess our entire life trying to 'deserve' that love (to which we are entitled the very day we are born). Indeed, I agree with Scout86 that the problem may...

@smdc Thank you so so much. I think I may need your support over the next few days. Things with him progressed today and after his latest emotional blackmailing, I decided to end it. I sent him a text and said that I had no choice but to leave him via text message (sounds familiar? -...

- I am angry that you can never plan anything with me, yet you are perfectly able to plan things with your Mum and with your band. - I fell sick as a result of your selfish behaviour. I asked you to look after me when I was sick and you just blanked me and disappeared. How can I possibly...

@smdc , I am glad you are picking yourself up. This morning I am coming here with a very different perspective in that I have decided to end my own story with him. As you say, we constantly feel responsible for them, worry about them, feel that we should be there for them. But then they are just...

@smdc , I hope you will accept a hug from me. :hug: I am in a similar situation as you, although I have not left my man. Still, perhaps it is good to share stories. I have known him for 6 months, together for nearly 5, we fell madly for each other. At first all was a dream. We both could not...

I agree with @nursenurse in that the book will help your boyfriend understand. I am also reading 'The body remembers' by Babette Rothschild, which explains how the brain of a PTSD sufferer works. I highly recommend it. For a partner, all the pain and uncertainty may come from not understanding...

Wow...my father died of cancer nearly 5 years ago and we kept our smile on our face for him to the last day (he did not know he was going). I took a year out of the PhD to be there with him and my mum nursed him with the utmost love and care every hour of every day, knowing that her reward would...

@Laura 2 , I understand what you say in relation to PTSD...ach, I just I wish I knew what to do...indeed he has been pulling away more and more and it seems that I am doomed whatever I do. If I try to make him see that things are OK, that I am still here for him as a partner, he seems to not...

The very fact that you say this is very encouraging! As someone who is trying to hold on to a person with PTSD, I am relieved to hear that you are so positive. From the other side, it is hard to accept that the person wants us to be happy without them. I know this sounds selfish but...romantic...

I do understand what you are saying...I don't want to push him or anything...on the opposite, I just wish he would feel that it is OK to be as he is, though you are now making me think that I am going about it the wrong way... I certainly don't want him to be 'a project' or a responsibility of...

Thank you so much for sharing, @silkleaves , this really helps me understand. I have only known him for 6 months and been with him about 4. I am only just trying to come to terms with the situation I found myself in. I want to do the right thing by him but it is so so hard, as he does not know...

@Laura 2 , gosh...I am so sorry to hear that...and, again, I suspect that is how my boyfriend may feel...he keeps saying that he feels barely able to keep up with me when he is well, never mind when he is feeling down. I no longer know how to reassure him. I tried to say that we can just be...

@silkleaves , what you describe sounds a lot like a guy I am seeing. He does not answer the phone and keeps it in silent mode. Also, I have not yet been told where he lives and he admitted that that's not normal but I guess that could be the reason...not sure. At first, I did not suspect he had...

@Pencil , I think there is too much emphasis on getting people well and out of therapy as soon as possible, merely for a matter or costs (either to the government or to the person). But unfortunately I feel treated like a shallow idiot by therapists like these. Also, I am a scholar in my daily...

Hi all, I am devastated today. He has been rather insensitive with me over the past 2 months, never wanted to see me over the past 2 weeks including last week when it was his birthday. For the past couple of months, contact has been initiated by me all the time. I have been trying to make him...

What should a supporter do during this time? What is the best way to show support without making it worse? :hug:

I can relate to that 100%! Understanding 'what' is going on and 'why' things are unfolding as they are removes that sense of ambiguity and uncertainly that can trigger severe anxiety in people like us. How does your past affect you, if you don't mind me asking? :hug:

Absolutely, @Junebug . And it is also hard to evaluate my own behaviour towards him. I tend to push people away as well with my insecurities. He may also be doubtful that I am fully over the relationship I gave up for him (in fairness, I did not give myself time for closure and I may be...