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Thanks, @arfie . That's a great sentiment. I keep telling myself the effort is what counts. I'm a perfectionist and a control freak, so it really bothers me when things don't go exactly the way I plan them. It's so maddening that I can't take credit for anything positive, but I'm sure to...

Recently, I've been struggling with agoraphobia. The therapist and I agreed that a goal for me is to leave the house every day. I just need to assess each situation that arises and decide what I can handle. It turns out, I'm not good at assessing what I can handle. Aaaargh, it is so...

I had a chance to talk to my therapist about the nurse practitioner's ECT suggestion today. She was also surprised by the suggestion. She is going to talk to the nurse on my behalf, about my fears about ECT in general, as well as my difficulty expressing any negativity or disagreement. I see...

I'm a people pleaser, too. In fact, a lot of my relationships burn out because I give and give until I have nothing left. At that point, I fully expect people to walk away from me. Luckily, I have a couple friends who've persisted over the years, and I've discovered that they don't always...

@intothelight Thanks for the welcome! @joeylittle I was part of a DBT group about five years ago, so I may have to see if the hospital still offers it. You're right ... at this point, I just need tools for managing the anxiety. I can't do much else until this fear and turmoil subside a...

That's incredibly insensitive of her. And it isn't helpful to you, hearing that. You are there to work through your issues ... if everyone else feels unsafe, they can find ways to deal with that on THEIR time! Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, but she's supposed to be focusing on what will...

One of the worst things for me, I think, is the alienation. I always feel alone. Around my family and the few friends I've managed to maintain, I put on an act. It's like I've learned to be what THEY need me to be ... and they need me to be healthy. So I wear a mask, and it is exhausting...

Thanks for your response, @greenleaf . It really helps to hear other people echoing my own doubts. I sometimes worry that I'm overreacting to things! To answer your question, trauma specialists are few and far between where I live (a relatively small city). This particular nurse works in the...

Young PTSD, thank you for your kind words. I DO journal, a lot, and it helps me too. Sometimes it is much easier to collect my thoughts on paper, and if I find myself unable to speak under stress, I have notes to read. I'm sorry you've hit a tough time, and I hope things start looking up for...

Springer80, thank you for the response! You've echoed my fears exactly ... after ECT is done, it can't be undone. It seems drastic to me. I'll see my nurse again next week, and I'm taking my husband along with me in case I have trouble expressing myself. He knows I'm against it, so he can be...

ACK! I'm sorry, I apparently don't know how to use the quote feature. I was trying to put a quote into my response, but I ended up quoting your entire response, Arfie. Please accept my apology! I agree with you about needing outside support, and that has been my downfall so many times. I...

I was diagnosed with PTSD a long time ago (7 or 8 years ... time flies). Since then, I've seen numerous doctors and therapists, and I've been hospitalized a couple times. Like lots of sufferers, my symptoms seem to ebb and flow. When times are good, I tend to drop out of therapy, mostly...