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@void and everyone It's been some time, I have been waking up at 6-7am in the morning for 4.5 months straight, everyday. And starting to do my marathon training, twice a week. And I am also doing cooking for my wife, she is very happy. Next month I will be going for job preparation interview...

Peace to you too, God Bless. I've been seeing the doctor and counselor for about 2 months plus since I last posted, and I am happy to announce that for the first time in 20 years, I am able to wake up at 6-7 a.m. in the morning for 2 months straight. For guys (and gals) like us with PTSD, we...

Just saw my doctor yesterday at the hospital, and going to the association of mental health for counselling next week. 5th time out of the house in almost 3 years ytd. :) 화이팅

Came back from KTPH Psychology for my CSA, 3rd time out of house for 2.5 years. The doctor was supportive and encouraged me to look for simpler job. Glad that progress is being made with every visit. :)

2nd time went out of the house today, to see my psychiatrist at the hospital, subsidized by my government. Had a 1 hour+ talk with him, and didn't even realise. Will be seeing him again in 3 weeks, and feeling hopeful. :)

My hospital appointment for child sexual abuse has been fixed middle next month :) Will be trying to stay positive until then.

Updated the Ministry of Social & Family Development, and they replied with being glad that I'm receiving help for child sexual abuse. :)

Feeling great today, yesterday i told my wife everything including how child sexual abuse by my mother has led me to be peculiar and sexually active, because I want her to know everything, 100%, before seeing and telling the psychiatrists i will be seeing soon in the hospital. And i feel great...

I made it to the doctor's and back with my wife, safely, although feeling unsafe at times and uncomfortable with loud noises. :) The doctor referred me to more professional psychiatric services at a local hospital for my child sexual abuse.

Update: my area's social worker has also just contacted me and I updated her that the government agency already linked me to the local trauma center and doctor's appointment. :) Another 1% progress.

Update: My doctor's appointment for my child sexual abuse PTSD is on friday :) it's my first time going out after 2.5 years

My social worker called me and I'm going to make a doctor's appointment for my child sexual abuse PTSD soon :)

@Nathan Sady Thanks for your encouragement, I will follow the advice of my government and do what is needed. :)

Remember the other day I was smoking and there was a very loud noise outside my door, as if it were a prank? I told my local police about it, as a safety measure, and they promise to send people down to my place the next time if it happen again. :)

It's the time of the year Mother's day and i need to learn how to manage my triggers as I was sexually abused by my mother.

It a was a bad nightmare because it ended with me screaming like a long "Why" and then waking up. I hate such nightmares, it makes me feel down upon waking and i really hope the neighbours above and below wasn't disturbed by my howling (though i'm not sure it was also shouted in real life)...

Woke up with a nightmare, and this is one of the days which ended yesterday with wanting to quit smoking and now I just woke up and I need to smoke because of the nightmare. :( Shit, sorry I really the cig for now.

Before i sleep... i want to say i want to quit smoking...I dont wanna die I want to live.

I have heart pains nowadays from many decades of ptsd and depression, and i only started to get help these few days from the government agency and NGOs. So I'm trying my best to get help, and for that 1% chance of hope and success. Smoking in my study room :D yesterday i was smoking outside and...

Update: My local government agency has also responded, pointing me to an organisation which can deal with my childhood sexual abuse PTSD and depression. :)

My local suicide prevention center (Samaritans of Singapore) has also contacted me, and I'm glad for their response. :)

I'm awaiting help from the government with regards to my child sexual abuse ptsd, although I am feeling hopeful but I try to not get too hopeful. So that if I don't get 100% help, I am still happy to get 1% help, although this sounds bad. I think because of my ptsd and depression for my whole...

@Gamera3000 Thanks for the encouragement :) All the best to your healing journey too. I really want to thank this forum, and wow time flies and I just got my 2nd anniversary here, and it took the death of the taiwanese girl author (She had CSA too), to make me go get help. And it was Moberg...

The local government agency for Family and Social services have got back to me regarding counselling and therapy for my CSA :)

This is a good video that I watched: Cognitive Dissonance and Childhood Abuse About cognitive dissonance, and it made me realise that due to my long years of childhood abuse, i too will also allow myself to be abused because "it is not as bad as how my parents did to me". But then people will...