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I started studying traditional martial arts in 1996. In 2000, I went through the Women't Self Defense course my martial arts school has. From the age of 3.5 until the age of 12, I was very violently raped, beaten, tortured and forced to participate in some horrific abuse/slaughter for various...

It's 330 AM, and I just woke up from anasthesia sleepiness. I really do feel A LOT better than I did right before the surgery. She's wonderful. I'm still not in terrible pain or anything. I can take 2 hydromorphone every 4 hours I have. I took some last night, even though I felt fine. I...

My urgent surgery this morning went very well, no complications or puzzles that could showed to he run.

Home on the couch with the best kitty ever. I feel SO much better than I have for the last 5 days. I had a bowl of oatmeal and it has stayed down happily. There were zero complications during the surgery, and I will do whatever I can to avoid any post-surgery issues. Pain control has been...

Surgery went well. Waiting for the nurse to come in with discharge papers. I feel considerably better than I did before surgery. I've received great care today from a great staff at the tiny little hospital in a tiny little town.

@Muted thank you. :hug: @MrMoonlight thank you. I have been very deliberately eating healthy and exercising daily and resting even if I can't sleep, since just before Thanksgiving. Doing so has cut my cholesterol in half, lowered my blood sugar, lowered my blood pressure and heart rate, and...

I have to be at the hospital at 730 AM for s@Xurgery tomorrow. The surgeon is the same one who saved my leg several years back. She assured me I'll probably feel significantly better as soon as I wake up. And that this surgery is way less intense than the endometriosis surgeries I've had...

So, for many years I was constantly sick and/or injured. Things weren't back-to-back, they were overlapping and piled up 3 and 4 (or more) deep. When I first started seeing my therapist years ago, he assured me that he knew the issues were very real, and they needed proper treatment. He also...

I've gone swimming with dolphins. To connect with an animal on that level, to interact and touch and be responded to in such an intense way... I can easily see therapeutic value. I did it 12.5 years ago and I still get an emotional high when I think about it. I can't say exactly what was so...

It's okay, @Grace . It was a good response. I can't use Vicks. The smell is a massive, massive trigger for me - just a tiny whiff, and I am shaking, sweating, throwing up, and losing touch with reality. I had a bag of IV antibiotics and two liters of fluid at my follow-up appointment this...

I do have two inhalers. They open things up, but I am thinking you are onto something with the nebulizer. I eventually fell asleep and slept HARD for almost 8 hours, which is an absurdly long sleep for me (I typically sleep in 90 minute spurts for a total of maybe 6 hours). I feel a little...

I'm laying in bed trying to sleep. But the wheeze and crackle and low rumble and squeaking sounds coming from my lung are making sleep impossible. Pity a person can't just breathe with one lung at a time, or maybe turn of the ability to register sounds? Regardless, this is not bonding well...

I'm sorry you're so miserable. The whole counting thing isn't working for me. I'll have a look at tapping - never tried it but who knows, maybe it will work? I've got a heating pad on my back and shoulder to help alleviate some of the muscle pain. I'm watching some mindless TV. It's not...

I spent all day at the clinic, getting IV antibiotics, and they sent me home with oral antibiotics and two inhalers. I really, genuinely hate being in the hospital (I've spent WAY too much time there for infections), but if tonight sees things continuing to go downhill, I'll go to the ER.

I've got a pretty severe case of pneumonia. High fever, quite hard to breathe, constant coughing, fluid and pus and blood coming up with each cough, intense chest, back, and shoulder pain... basically, everything you'd expect someone to see if they developed pneumonia and ignored it a couple...

Letters with good memories are so, so valuable. I've been on the other side of that grief (car accident took the life of the woman I love more than life itself), and those "I remember when" letters are the things we clung to most.

I love that I can make him laugh so easily. And I love that he explains the science behind what he does - he gets into the nuts and bolts of it all. When I took neuropsych a couple semesters back, he was the reason I passed. And the homework help was free (via email).

She doesn't remember. She knows as much as I do. We discuss the option of trying to find out from time to time, but she is loving her life (she had her first daughter in February) and would rather leave it buried unless something really compelling comes along to motivate her. I can totally...

@EveHarrington Thank you. You have said it how I feel - I shouldn't be sharing with her in the future because it doesn't feel safe. I forgot (as usual) that it's okay to pay attention to my own feelings and needs, and act in my own best interest. @Xena thank you. I think part of the issue...

My best friend (we've been best friends for 25 years now) was a selective mute when we were kids. I didn't hear her voice until we'd been best friends for 8 years. Hers was definitely trauma-induced. She doesn't remember anything at all prior to the selective mutism started when she was six...

I agree with @Friday and @Notamorningperson A knife is a powerful weapon if it is used. If you were attacked and it was taken from you, you'd be in a whole new world of trouble. I'd really, strongly recommend getting trained in its use and retention. Stalking is horrible. I've been stalked...

@Madwomeninabox I hear you. My faith (Christian) is supremely important to me. I've fallen into sin SO many times, both spontaneously and habitually. I believe I am forgiven - but forgiving myself feels impossible. I feel dirty, contaminated, dirty, broken, worthless... I'm in positions of...

Could it be actual memories? Yes, of course. Could also be 100% made up by your brain. Most likely, it's a combination of the two. Regardless... Processing and "dealing with it" are done exactly the same. Are you still in therapy? I think your T is right about dealing with it.

SO, there is this person who I care about, that I've known for years. She is kind, compassionate, generous, selfless... I would call her a genuinely *good* person. Her father was, according to her, "an amazing man and father, except for when he wasn't." He committed incest with her, his only...

If the pills helped you, and then you abruptly stopped taking them when you lost them, it makes perfect sense that you're feeling this way. I would say to start taking them again. I too have intense physical issues (though I have diagnoses for them, finally) that when combined with the PTSD...