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    Other Self triggering

    I do this too, and just spoke about about it with my therapist again this past week. She reminded me that children with trauma will often reenact that trauma during their play in an attempt to make sense of it and get a feeling of control over it. She wondered if me going on “binges” of watching...
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    Sexual Assault Potential new relationship, and terrified.

    Yeah, I am. Trying to work through it with their help.
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    Sexual Assault Potential new relationship, and terrified.

    Hi all, My ONLY experience with sex is being raped almost two years ago. In that time, I haven't been able to handle much of any touch from men - even ballroom dancing in a very social setting has proven difficult to cope with most of the time. But now I am trying to get my life back, and there...
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    Sexual Assault Moral Responsibility To Charge?

    Yes, all true. The Crown can compel, but is unlikely to if I don't want to proceed with it. Once all the evidence is in, the detective will give me a recommendation and then leave it up to me if I want her to take the case to the Crown at all. Thank you for sharing your experience, it helps to...
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    Some Kind Of Trance?

    This happens to me a lot. I like how you said that you CAN break out of it, but that it's very "unpleasant" - that description resonates with me. It also sometimes happens to me when I'm more relaxed, too. I think having my body quiet and my nervous system less activated makes me really...
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    Sexual Assault Moral Responsibility To Charge?

    Next week I'll be receiving the results of the forensic testing, and in another couple weeks the tox screen will come back. What this means is that I'm at a decision point in terms of how the investigation will progress. The detective has already told me that she is willing to bring him in for...
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    How Does Your T Support You?

    My T will sometimes write me handwritten encouraging notes to take with me after a session. I also recently finally got the guts to ask her to leave me a voicemail message that I can listen to while panicking. That has helped immensely. I too just feel alone, despite having people in my life I'm...
  8. L

    I Need Touch

    No, she's not a specialist in SE, and any real body-based therapy where touch is inherent. She just had a supervisor who was comfortable and competent in using touch, and taught her to be as well. I have two therapists right now who are working together, and they use similar therapeutic...
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    Difficulty Moving And Speaking?

    This has been happening to me since a trauma 6 months ago. Dx with C-PTSD prior to that trauma, and now PTSD too. The dissociative stuff hasn't offically been diagnosed. But reading this thread has been comforting.. at least I'm not the only one experiencing the being frozen, and locked inside...
  10. L

    Body Memories-intense

    I'm experiencing this too.. so you're definitely not alone in it.
  11. L

    Anything That Helps When Trying To Let Young States Or Parts Show Up In The Therapy Session?

    Really relating to this thread, and also pretty confused. I had a young part (? - this is new wording for me) show up in therapy last week. I was so drained after. My therapist said it didn't look much different than my usual dissociation, but it FELT different. I felt YOUNG.. like the whole...
  12. L

    Is There Usefulness Of Dissociation In Therapy?

    I agree with you.. I don't think the dissociation is always a bad thing. I have two therapists that are working together with me, and one of them "lets" me ride the dissociation/flashbacks sometimes. My body sometimes shakes, and I often cry.. and it's only in that dissociative state that that...
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    I Need Touch

    Different therapists have different perspectives and different training on using safe touch. It is actually unethical for a therapist to use touch unless they have training and supervision in using it in a healthy way. I NEED a therapist who uses touch, it is the only way I feel safe enough to...
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    Wanting It To Hurt

    I often want it to hurt too. Maybe because I feel like that validates the experience. Maybe because I know that lots of stuff is locked in my body that needs to come out. Maybe because I need someone (like my therapist) to really see and understand how much pain I went through and am still in...
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    Feeling safe causing triggering?

    I relate so much to this thread, and have many thoughts that I'll try to summarize. The first house I lived in after coming out of my abusive home (then 3 years in university dorms, then the house I'm talking about) was with roommates who were my best friends, who were totally "safe", and who I...
  16. L

    Dr. Peter Levine's Theories

    I've actually read that article before, and shared it with my therapists. I agree it is by far the best article on a the defence cascade that I have read; it validates so much of my experience.
  17. L

    Weighted Blanket. What Do You Do When You Don't Have It With You?

    I have a "sleeve". It's a long-ish tube of stretchy material that I put on like a tube top, with my arms curled up around me inside it. It puts lots of pressure, like a big hug. Helps SO MUCH when I don't have my weighted blanket.
  18. L

    Dr. Peter Levine's Theories

    Do you remember which book Levine discusses this in? I experience this too.
  19. L

    Sexual Assault 26 Days Ago...

    Just need to share the story... November - started having flashbacks again from childhood trauma December - multiple out-of-the-ordinary stressors January - anorexia relapse February - back into treatment program June - really struggled. Self harm, overdoses, more PTSD symptoms again June 29th...
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    I Could Stop Some Of Them.

    Good tears.. tears of "wow I'm not alone". :)
  21. L

    I Could Stop Some Of Them.

    Wow, mary1979, thank you for being so honest... your response almost made me cry (which my therapist has been trying to get me to do for months, so congratulations haha!). It is nice to know there are others who have used "manipulative" behaviours to get needs met. And you're right... if I knew...
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    I Could Stop Some Of Them.

    Thank you for this. I just feel so bad for putting my therapist through it when I COULD (sometimes) ground myself and prevent it from going so far. I feel like it's almost faking it in terms of making it seem like it's beyond my control when I could potentially get myself out of it (although not...
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    I Could Stop Some Of Them.

    Hi all, Brand new to the forums, and am really reluctant to post about this because I can't seem to find anything else even remotely similar and because of fear of being judged, or grouped in with the "fake PTSD-ers". So, first things first... I was abused emotionally/physically for about 6...
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