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I have C&P exams coming up this summer, not looking forward to them at all. I think the main thing is not to go in there with the military mentality of suck it up and drive on, they will use it against you. If you can think of what is causing your PTSD before you go in and be in a bad place...

I agree and they can also feed off each other. For me usually depression comes as a result of being in physical pain 24/7, which in turn brings on the PTSD. My PTSD has many triggers and it can of course bring on depression.

Even when I was very isolated physically and or psychologically I never felt isolated with other vets because there is instant trust and an ability to relate. That said there were times when I didn't have access to other vets, physical distance etc, I would go into extreme isolation, putting on...

Oh I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot, I should know that.. the Aussies used to come over and train with us and we loved them, I really wanted to switch to their army. lol I understand going into the bush, I used to dress in my fatigues, grab my ruck and disappear into the mountains for days just...

Since you live in the country I may have a suggestion with something we're putting together here. Most of us vets feel safer in the bush, we may be on guard but its a different kind of guard, there's not much that can hurt me out there. We're putting together a hiking group for veterans, over...

It depends, I have friends and peers in my inner most circle and I feel totally comfortable with them though at times I may be unable to fully participate in activities. The most isolating event of late was losing two therapists in four days, that had me locked up beating my head against the...

Actually you're right, I explained to the group that in a sense we all already have the training to overcome our issues, that no quit drive learned in the military. And I'm sorry if I come across as thinking civilians are less than equal in their conditions, I don't mean that at all.

Mine was sort of under control, it flared up now and then but would pass after a day or two, now and then it would go into weeks, then last winter I had another traumatic experience and that pushed me over the edge. I've been screwed up ever since and this time its all the experiences at once...

I've had my share of BS to deal with at the VA too, for the most part on the ground the people I've dealt with are good to me, but all it takes are a few rotten apples to undermine all the good.

There's probably not a lot of vets in New Zealand just due to the raw numbers, small armed forces. But on the other hand that should make it easier to connect. I've had to establish my vet network outside the VA, the VA has nothing to do with it except that it was at the VA where we were able to...

I can go through an hour of their therapy, and I get more out of five minutes with another vet. I'm serious, I've had two good therapists, one that I trust like a sister, but they fail to understand I'm part machine; when I feel on guard that machine takes over and there is nothing I can do to...

I'm one of those people who falls through the cracks because I can't be categorized; shot at? Yes, killed? Yes. Risked my life? Yes, Injured? Yes. Combat? No. So there it is. Not my fault no war was going on, that would make it all easier to understand wouldn't it? But the pain is real, guilt...

Well I'm quickly discovering the truth, that only we vets can help heal ourselves. They really do mean well, most of the time but they don't have the life experience to understand us. I want to say to my therapist, grab a 100lb ruck and spend a month in the bush with me, let me teach you to...

I look at it like this, the military teaches us to be in control; I once was in group therapy, they had us hold our breath for as long as we could, I held mine for two minutes, a minute longer then anyone else. When asked how I explained the military teaches us that when our body says breath...

We are the men we used to be, its just something is broken. We're wounded animals in a corner. People should be advised to approach with care, otherwise they may get bit.

My freak outs represent a loss of control, that is what I find most alarming. I've always been able to control it but lately its controlling me which puts me further on guard. The VA is just exasperating this because they take a one size fits all approach, which doesn't work because we are all...

I was in a similar situation but I wear a hat indicating my service, I rarely got complaints but when I did 99% of the time it was civilian family members. If you can't wear a hat try an ID lanyard with your service branch on it. ;-)

What I've learned, and what they've learned about me, is we can't open the box too quickly. They actually stopped my trauma processing for now because it was too much for me to handle, so we're concentrating on building skills first, then going back to the box. But generally the VA is...

The cup analogy is right, military training teaches us to overcome the "flight" reaction in "fight or flight", your emotions say piss your pants and run, the training says react with how we trained you. Our cups are already full, so it doesn't take much to knock it over. I know I will never be...

I'm sort of the in same boat, six years a grunt, non-combat, got fired up on a platoon assault course by an M-60, burned into a drop zone-back screwed up for life, had two buddies get shot in training.. along with serious civilian world baggage, child abuse, killed a guy accidentally etc. I was...