Ptsd Or Depression?

[Pinkdew87]

For a long time I thought I had depression but recently a friend said it sounds like I might have ptsd.

My mother passed away from cancer two years ago, I'm an only child & was her carer through it all, so I saw a lot of stuff I wish I hadn't. The end was the worst, she was put on a pathway and went two weeks without food or water before she died.

I was grieving for a long time, which then turned into depression but I no longer feel like I'm grieving, I do have down days but my main issue is that as soon as I try to go to sleep, i can't. I'm haunted with flash backs & memories of all the things I saw & it plays on my mind on a loop as I try to sleep. I also get vivid nightmares about it & often wake up with a shock. I've also woke up crying a few times. I've tried meditation and breathing techniques but nothing seems to work, its like as soon as my head hits the pillow, the flood gates open. Are these flash backs ptsd or is it just normal? Most nights I only manage to get 4-5 hours & it's starting to impact my memory.

Any help would be appreciated :)

 

[EveHarrington]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I think it would be a good idea to seek out the services of a trauma/grief professional who can help you determine what you're dealing with. I'm not personally familiar with grief as it relates to trauma, but I know others are and hopefully they can give you more feedback.

 

[joeylittle]

Hi @Pinkdew87 - and welcome. I'm sorry that you are struggling but glad you found us.

The medical criteria for PTSD exclude the experiences of watching someone die across a known illness. As painful as it is, the events register differently than those that can provoke PTSD.

This doesn't mean that you didn't go through a very traumatic experience, and it doesn't mean that you don't need help with it.

It also doesn't mean that you don't have PTSD. Some people undergo the trauma that qualifies as specific enough to cause PTSD, but the disorder itself doesn't emerge until some time later, when an event of sufficient stress can set it off.

This is another reason why seeing a qualified mental health professional is advised.

I'm sure you will find our forum useful, regardless. Intrusive memories are painful, whether or not PTSD is their origin.

 

[Pinkdew87]

Thanks very much for the replies :)

I did some looking about & this seems to relate to what I'm experiencing.

PTSD and Caregivers

"PTSD can also affect caregivers. Learning that a loved one has cancer, seeing a loved one in pain, and experiencing a medical emergency are traumatic events and they may contribute to the development of PTSD during treatment or years after the person has survived the cancer. One study found that nearly 20% of families with teenage survivors of childhood cancer had a parent who was experiencing PTSD. Research also shows that it is extremely common for parents of children receiving cancer treatment to develop stress-related symptoms."

 

[Taylor30313]

Hey Pinkdew! I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing these scary flashbacks. I know just how hard losing a parent too soon can be. I think what's important is to give yourself plenty of credit. You've been through something very traumatic and something is definitely not right. Whether it's PTSD or depression or both, you've been the strong one for too long. I think what helped me start healing was being acknowledged which started when someone finally heard me out and saw my pain. When you're ready, talk to someone who can help. Whether that's a mental health professional or just your regular doctor, it's important to be listened to in the beginning or at least it was for me. To simply answer your question, I think that's for you to decide. I tend to think though that not being able to get a good nights sleep most nights, is a sign that something isn't normal. Maybe you are still grieving or maybe it's more serious than just that, either way, we all need a little extra help sometimes!

 

[Whyteferret]

It can be both. There are overlapping.

 

[CS67ART]

It can be both. There are overlapping.

I agree and they can also feed off each other. For me usually depression comes as a result of being in physical pain 24/7, which in turn brings on the PTSD. My PTSD has many triggers and it can of course bring on depression.

 

[Gadgie]

Aye! I've always believed the two are connected, in fact, they were treating me for depression, before I was diagnosed with PTSD?