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It's probably sad and strange, but I hope so! I feel lost without her!:cry:

This is kind of how I feel. This is supposed to be a healing process but I feel worse. I do think I need to ask my T to slow down. And you all are right, I need to work on developing healthy coping skills before mine are taken away. This is so foreign and unexpected for me. I have a lot of...

Your post was very powerful for me. Wow. You did it! And to still feel solid in your choice after losing your mom speaks volumes to me. Thank you for sharing that. I hope I can get there one day soon. @BoN-bOn, I hope this encouraged you, as well. We can do this!

I feel like I'm so far out of my depth with this stuff. I never would have imagined that I had splits, but I've discovered that I do. It's not DID and I don't really lose time, but they are definitely separate splits. I've been working with my T on identifying them and their distinct roles and...

I know how you feel. I'm in a situation where cutting them out of my life would probably be the best thing for my recovery. But my parents are getting older and I don't know if I could live with the guilt if something were to happen to them. My family is very enmeshed, live in the same small...

I so understand how you feel. Don't you just want to scream in his face, "Everything is not normal! Stop trying to act like you didn't do sick, perverted things to me!"? The pretense makes me feel crazy! I'm sorry you've been there, but it's nice someone understands!

That was a panic attack talking. I'm a social worker and am all too aware of the shortcomings of the ER when it comes to mental health care. I did go get stitched up but did not mention the panic attack or that the injury was self-inflicted. I did get a few vicodin so that will help for part of...

I'm not doing well right now. I had to sit across the table from my abuser (father) and stand there when he hugged and kissed me. My only ally, my sister, was pissed at me and wasn't speaking to me. That was yesterday. I got home and cut. It has always worked well to calm me. I kept cutting and...

That is a great idea! I'll try it!

Great ideas. Granulomatous amoebic encephalitis. That's awesome! But you have to do some distasteful things for your children, to give them some semblance of a normal family. So I will suck it up and do whatever I have to in order to get through, while praying for a kidney stone!:dead: Happy...

I detest this time of year. Have always hated it. More recently, someone I was very close to was very ill, needed constant care, then passed away the day before Thanksgiving nine years ago. Plus, family gatherings have always been stressful. But this year I don't have my coping mechanism of...

Wow! I'm so impressed with your never-say-die attitude. And you are right, with God all things ARE possible! I believe 100% that you can and WILL recover. Attitude is at least half the battle, and you've got this!;)

Thank you for your post and I am so sorry for what you've been through. Peace and safe hugs:hug:

You have 96 hours after a rape for a rape kit to be able to gather viable DNA. If there was vaginal trauma, scarring could be detected, but likely would be difficult to prove it was from a particular person. Any witnesses that could verify? At this point, you have what you can remember and can...

I restarted therapy about six months ago. My T is amazing and is helping a lot. I don't know where I would be right now without her...probably dead. But there are some questions she just can't answer and I'm so grateful to have found this site.

This is my life currently, so I completely understand. I don't feel like I need to remember every gory detail to heal and move on. I need to know who did it and what age(s) I was (basically was it a one-time thing or did it go on for years). I worry all the time about false memories and making...

Hi, everyone. I have only recently started recovering memories of sexual abuse as a child. I struggle with believing my memories. I believe that I was abused, but I struggle with it being my father. He was sexually abused by his older brother, and I have seen his face vividly in my memories and...

This is something that I've questioned as well. I very seldom have nightmares. I've even wondered if that means my memories of CSA aren't real, because it seems like every survivor has nightmares. But I do think we all take our own path to recovery and it doesn't necessarily look like someone...

Thank you so much! It's incredible how helpful it is to hear from people who have been there!!!

I'm pretty new to this site. Also pretty new to having actual memories of my abuse. I've suspected for a long time but have spent my entire adult life doing things to keep them stuffed away. I've had brief flashes, body memories, etc. About six months ago I restarted therapy with a new...

Thanks, @lostforgottensoul. You made me smile!:)

Wow, I totally relate. I've been addicted to opiates for 12 years. Six months ago I restarted therapy to deal with the shit that got me started on the pills to begin with. Popping a handful of pills and feeling that sweet relief was WAY preferable to feeling the devastation and shame of sexual...