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@Newtoptsd I'm so sorry you are going through this. I feel for you as my relationship with my ex was around the same length and took a similar route. Thank-you for your support for me along my path too. Its so important for supporters to question if PTSD is the only issue. As I said on a...

Hugs to you @elisearmour and good luck :hug:

Sorry @elisearmour that I was the bearer of disappointing news, but I would rather be honest with you than sugar coating things. I have only just been piecing together the lies and false life of my ex. She had cptsd and I think the reason I put up with all the sh*tty behaviour was because of...

I agree with @Friday it is not a PTSD thing. The pattern with my ex was the same. The thing is PTSD can be comorbid with any number of other issues such as Cluster B personality disorders. Obviously a professional would need to diagnose that. There's always the possibility he has been diagnosed...

Yes, very similar childhood to my ex. The frustrating thing is that they end up sabotaging the chance of love that they wanted.

I really feel for you @Devastatedginger Its quite possible that PTSD is not the only issue that your partner has. It could be co-morbid with another issue, or it could be just plain bad behaviour. From my own experience my ex had Cptsd, but that did not explain the abuse, blaming, the compulsive...

@TheMinsterman hugs to you if you will accept them :hug: @grimalkin hugs to you too if you will accept them :hug:, your story is similar to mine in so many ways. I will check out that book you're working through too.

I've been watching this thread with great interest @TheMinsterman and although, as you know, I split with my ex in January it has enabled me to understand some more of why she did what she did, and I did what I did. One point you made in your post I think you be key to why you are suffering so...

Yes, it happened to me too. My ex was fine with friends when in a shut-out with me, they would have no idea anything was wrong.

This is what it says on the Out of the FOG website. Link Removed Moderator edit to remove copy-paste. Please see: Administrative - Copying And Pasting Articles: Guidelines

It makes perfect sense @grimalkin I too always seperated my ex's actions from the real her. I always told her I loved her, the condition was not the real her. However she was not prepared to figure it out or go into therapy. She was only prepared for avoidance with alcohol and cannabis, so I had...

@tiredtexan I cannot express strongly enough how much I agree with @heyheyhey, please listen to her for your health and sanity's sake. I have only just begun to realise something really bad was going on this since splitting with my abusive SO. I spent hours, days, weeks, months, trying to work...

@tiredtexan your SO sounds borderline to me with what you described. Try this eyeopening site, Top 100 Traits & Behaviors I hope it helps you as much as it did for me.

I agree with @Snowflakes Although I was an open book, my ex for some reason suddenly told me she had been checking up on my financial affairs and my business affairs. She accused me of not being who I said I was and said she had been fooled by me. This came out of the blue to me. They have...

Maybe this would be good in a seperate post as I think you will get many more replys, and more chance of the clarity you need. Great news about your op going so well too.

Hi @Ineedtoo, You're doing the right thing by working on your mental health. However without boundaries the good work you are doing will be undone. Strong boundaries are a must and its up to you what you are willing to put up with. Sometimes an easier way to decide is to imagine you are giving...

Yes, it hurts like hell.

Thank-you for your post. It relates to complex ptsd from abuse rather than from the forces. I can certainly understand the bond of ex service people, but it is not the case here.

Yes its tough indeed, but you have all of us supporting you and we're looking forward to an update when you feel better :hug:

Wow, wise words @greenleaf I do feel my ex is struggling with guilt at the moment. I am convinced on a subconscious level she understands why I left. That is why she acknowledged my email so quickly in quite a cordial tone. However I don't believe she understands WHY she reacts in such a way...

Oh fantastic news @Seeking thank-you for the update. A little positivity is so uplifting. Big hugs to you :hug:

Thank-you for your kind and supportive words @Justmehere I read recently that the only way a sufferer that lashes out can feel completely safe, is if their partner is 'perfect'. Of course that's not possible (although I like to think I come pretty close, ha ha ;)) and therefore they lash out at...

Thank-you @Stickler for your point of view as a sufferer. And also confirming you believe it is because of her fear of closeness. It kind of helps in that it is not me doing anything majorly wrong so to speak. Although I have analysed it over and over 'with what if's' and 'could I have done that...

Thank you so much @ladee for explaining that. It is another jolt into reality for me. Its pretty clear she should not be in a relationship. I do sometimes wonder that she was originally in it for just fun, but was unprepared when she actually started to have feelings she related to people that...

Wow, what amazing replies from you guys....... They were my thoughts too, although the abuse as a child wasn't sexual in nature, I do feel she thinks that anyone she is emotionally close to will ultimately hurt her, so she hurts them first. It doesn't help that she will not communicate after...