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I say "I hate my body" all the time. it's broken. I've never thought about it like this but it feels very true for me. thank you for this post <3

How are you doing @Bird33? just checking in :)

Its all good @Bird33 -- i finished up babysitting (my side hustle) after sending that last one and crashed when I got home. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this. especially while juggling the rest of your life. I'm so glad you have this outlet. I've attached a doc called "personal bill of...

@Bird33 -- reading this literally made me drop my jaw. How rude of her. and hurtful and mean to say that to you after YOU helped HER! wow. well i'm super proud of you for being assertive with her after that. i'm sure it was difficult... but i bet it was a step toward the moves your making now...

I felt the same way when I decided to finally block my advocate. it felt terrible. the pull between my desire (that i knew probably wasn't best) against what i knew was best for me in the end. its a tough place to be. but it was so worth it in the end.. for me that is. For clarification...

You are strong though!!! truly. You took a huge step today. A power grab step. You may feel weak, but your actions... they are strong and powerful ones. remember that. Do you wanna talk about what the email says? absolutely no pressure, but i'm here if your struggling with it @Bird33

You have all the time to process this and choose what to do at your speed, or not at all. You have all the power now. there's this quote i love --> "And then one day, I found my own light, my own inner-ganster, i snatched my power back, and the game changed." author unknown. one day at a time :)

I wholeheartedly second this post! :) really awesome job staying busy with other things @Bird33 . and for opening up to people close to you more. you deserve support around this. you have it here, but tangible supports would be great.

@Bird33 hmmm.... you used to be able to send messages. I'm recently back here... but it's been a long time. Maybe that feature is gone. Please know I'm thinking about you though and that I can understand how painful this must be. I think @Sideways reply was spot on too. I will keep checking in...

I see your point @Tinyflame -- the sadness comes from holidays. i've had to spend them alone a lot in the past because my mom won't tell my sister not to come. but my sister is an evil monster to everyone. theres only the three of us, so no buffers... so i no longer have anywhere to be on...

I'm so proud of you for blocking her @Bird33 . To echo @alwaysworkingthruit - you are normal. she is not. you may have your own issues, and they probably play a role in all of your decision making. as everyone's past plays into their lifestyle and daily decision making. but, EVERYONE CRAVES...

@Mach123 --- your post helped me tremendously. perspective. you nailed it. thanks for sharing. history repeats itself. i need to remember that. I wish for you healing in all ways. thanks again. have a wonderful day.

@Bird33 -- To be transparent I have not read this post all the way through (23 pages! ?) but I've read enough to relate to you in so many ways. I have been with my current therapist for 3 years on Sept 16. I admire my therapist. she is a badass and i wish i was more like her. if i'm being 100%...

Thank you @Keming @Tinyflame & @grit -- some perspective on this is helpful. All of your responses point to similar solutions. I believe it's time for me to mourn the loss of a sister i wish i had and start a new chapter where she has extremely limited contact with me. The worst part is I feel...

Thanks for being the only person in my life I can count on. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. you saved my life.

Hello all... i haven't posted on here in a long time. Today i found a need to log back on. I've made so much progress with my illness (complex PTSD) because I have gone to over 160 therapy sessions and sought out the hospital when I need it. I have worked on myself SO HARD. My sister struggles...

1. I'm. SO. tired. 2. i'm thankful for the people in my life who are celebrating this big life change/new job with me. I'm surprised how many people seem to brush it off like's its no big deal, who know what i've been through and how passionate I am about what i do. but those who have showed up...

1) it's about to POUR here 2) I'm off for 5 whole days and I'm super stoked about that. time for self-care staycation to the MAX. bath bombs and all 3) I just bit the bullet and asked a friend something I've been avoiding for months and it went rather well. blessings 4) cleaning. cleaning...

1) I think I got a job I've wanted since March. in this new city that I love so much. I got through the second interview and they are calling references and doing a background check - which I don't think they'd be doing if they didn't want to hire me. For those of you who pray, please say a...

to my therapist. You're my hero. I don't know what I would have done without you. Nobody else - no professional or friend - has ever be so real with me and helped me to the degree you have. you are reliable and consistent and you have changed my view of myself adn situations i've been in, in...

so little sleep lately. right when i thought i had it under control :eek::mad: art/painting was a hobby of mine before all the shit overtook me and I succumbed to the many symptoms of PTSD ... I enjoyed it. I lost that feeling of enjoyment in pretty much anything for so long. i busted out my...

stream of consciousness writing is really shedding light on some stuff i'm pushing aside my therapist is a godsend. I am lucky to have her in my corner EMDR therapy tomorrow. aka: torture session I haven't smoked weed in months. i miss it something bad, but damn i'm proud of myself I'm actually...

I see growth & progress in therapy. finally. It needs to f*cking rain!!! this humidity is killer I love the new city I live in. thankful I took the leap. I also love my new job. the owners are amazing humans and I'm lucky to be working for them. blessed Too. Much. Coffee. is 8 shots of...

1) day 36 of being weed free. I was FBI fingerprinted and background checked for this new job... but it seems no drug test?! wtf? but i shall wait and see what happens. don't want any shitty surprises. i miss it BAD tho. this girl has not quit foreva. 90 days and benefits later -- you better...

1. packing for dayyyyssssss. T minus 10 days til I move to the city I've been trying to get to for two months. 2. BECAUSE! I got a job. thankful (though it is NOT my dream job) 3. i got an apartment. someone cosigned for me whom I DID NOT expect to help me. blessed. 4. I got water, power...