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I need to do more art, but this is a sketch I did in a group therapy in.water pencil.

Much better, thank you. I had a session of i dividí al therapy on Friday the following day which helped sort things out. I’d recounted my trauma in detail at group therapy on Wednesday, and in addition to other stressors, that may have been a major contributing factor. Thanks for the concern!

I’ve had a rough couple of days. My anxiety and depression for the past day has been so bad that I can barely lie on my couch and cry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now. I’m antsy and shaking and breathing heavily. I’m dizzy and feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve napped but my sleep is...

Hey, everyone! Long time no see. I’m he Ping through a difficult highly symptomatic time bad enough that I’m on medical leave from work. Hopefully things get better soon. Doing intensive therapy through the VA as wee as individual therapy outside the VA, which is where I finally got a PTSD...

Thanks, Friday, so much. When I mentioned people I remembered, you were at the top of the list. It had never occurred to me to get su pieces or memorabilia as a way to expose myself in a controlled manner. I’ll look into that. Thanks!

it’s been several years since I posted, or have been active here. I recognize some of you regulars who are still around, even though I’m likely to have been forgotten. I was never diagnosed, not through the VA, but really felt like something was wrong with me beyond just having anxiety and...

I went to a non VA therapist and may finally get an assessment to see if I have ptsd or not. But it had been such a bad few weeks of panic attacks, feelings of dread, shaking and freaking out bad enough that I’ve missed work several days. Also hitting myself. I’m trying to stop. Hoping the new...

I’m 7 atm, was 8 or even 9 Sunday and Monday and have hovered below that since.

Thanks for all the replies. I'm doing okay, mostly. At least as far as this goes. Still kinda upsetting, but I'm not necessarily dwelling on it, or thinking about it most of the time, so that's good. Just wish she hadn't tried to justify it.

I feel sick. Last night spouse woke me in the middle of the night, and had me examine her genitalia because we was worried about an uncomfortable inflammation or something. I was barely aware of this, and had been anxious about something else when I went to bed, and she got angry with me when...

And I avoid things I want to do, too.

To an extreme, life destroying degree.

I am not a domestic abuse survivor, but my suggestions is to listen to her. Without judgement, ask her if there's anything you are doing that is stirring up memories that you can avoid. Find out what she needs you to do while she needs space, and if there's anything you can do to help. Respect...

I feel like she wrote of PTSD as a possibility because I don't visualize my thoughts, or have experiential memories, and she felt that was mandatory for PTSD.

My wife is convinced my diagnosis of agoraphobia with panic is wrong, and that I have PTSD. I'm just uncertain, but it feels like my therapist has already decided I can't have it. But it could easily be my anxiety making me think there's more going on, and that I should trust my therapist. I...

I was making white chocolate confections for my son's birthday party, and wound up getting melted chocolate, which was really thick and viscous, all over my hands. I started feeling like it was grease, which I always hated in the Navy, and that I was going to get it all over my uniform, and get...

I remember spending an awful lot of time as a child sitting there perplexed that time could pass, that I could be aware of seeing at all. I'd stare, trying to figure out if I could really think, could really see. Trying to feel time passing, and baffled that it could be now when a moment ago it...

Sounds like you're a far better person than your father, and that it's he who should failing to live up to your good standards. You're a very brave and strong woman, @futurefocussed.

To a very large extent, yes. And I've failed repeatedly as a student, but kept try trying again. But I think my attempts have run out. But I feel like the only think I can take pride in is being smart, and that smart means doing well in school, so when I don't do well in school, it makes me feel...

I worked out a good backup plan that doesn't require me to take any more classes if I can't, or have any degrees. But the concept of school "not being for me" tears at the foundation I build my self esteem on. But maybe it's a foundation that needs to be toppled.

I think it's largely despair from the possibility of not being able to finish school. Failure is one of my biggest fears and motives for self hatred, and it's hard for it not to feel like failure.

Every day, just about, several times a day, almost at random, suicidal thoughts have been popping into my head. Sometimes i redirect away from them, sometimes I just don't bother because enduring takes less energy than focusing on whatever. I'm not in danger, not going to hurt myself, and am...

Welcome, and I hope you find the site helpful. I'm trans as well, pronouns she/her. I've also had some shitty interactions in the medical community. And while you've been through so much, it's awesome that you're able to give back though the social program. Good luck with your healing. :hug:

I woke up in a great mood. Very chipper, enjoying myself. Which felt weird and uncomfortable and unlike myself, and I started stressing out over it, feeling like I didn't recognize it as me, that I didn't deserve it, and almost even scared of it. Well, the happy mood didn't last very long after...

It might, and I love the topic idea. Like I said, I was thinking about asking something like that, because I want to understand it better. I don't dissociate, at least I don't think so, but am curious about what it's like for others. I can be really absent minded, and sometimes (a lot lately)...