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Hi becomingme. Welcome to this site. I grew up in a very strict religious home, my father was a pastor and missionary, my mother his trusty sidekick. I understand what you describe. My father also sexually abused us kids. It's not easy at all, but there is hope I think. Some days it's hard to...

hi everyone. I'm on the rollercoaster, some days I'm fine, others not so much. I'm so depressed. I've been frozen for over a month, can't get anything done. Can't even listen to music. But the heartache feel real. It's like my heart is trying to beat right out of my chest, it feels huge and...

Thanks everyone for these kind words. I am really struggling with emotional extremes. Logically I know things will get better. But it's hard because I also know they will get worse again. Not seeing much point in fighting for anything right now.

Fast forward - Despite all the red flags I could not stop myself from becoming completely enmeshed and continuing the relationship. But I did finally allow a friend to investigate a bit whether he was seeing someone else. This felt awful and duplicitous. But all she did was send him a FB friend...

Wow. I don't think this is just something a person with ptsd would have a hard time with. This is hurtful to anyone. Please take care.

i just got home from inpatient treatment for extreme SI last night. I'm not doing too well. Kind of want to share what's going on but not feeling the desire to even type. Hard to see a reason to go on at this point. Hopefully things will improve as the days go by.

Me too. It's of my life is a blank space. It's like I have no roots, no past, I relate..

Hi there I know how you feel, I also think about ending it all often. But every once in awhile I find that I am grateful to be alive. Just wanted to say hey and tell you I do care, and I understand. (Hugs)

Is there any chance you could get on disability? It might help the finances some, and take the pressure off abit. I am not officially diagnosed with DID but struggle very much with dissociation and a lower functioning level. Before I had disability I was in constant chaos, but now I don't have...

Welcome. I'm in the same place and find some help here. Trying to learn to cope with major relapse after a umber of years of stability

Following. Will try some of the mentioned techniques.

I understand the question here. I don't think you will scare away a therapist, rather they will ask you to make a type of verbal contract where you promise not to hurt yourself before you call him/her. If you become acutely suicidal under a therapist care they will have you admitted for some...

I'm in the same place BIG LOVE

Omg stay away from this guy!! All your instincts are working

(((@VioletButterfly )))

Oh my gosh yes. I can hardly look at myself in a mirror! I feel like my eyes are way too big and they creep me out big time. People tell me they are pretty, but dang, they look like the eyes of someone in a war. All big and buggy. And my body, geez. I know I'm not truly ugly, but I feel like I am.

Yep, I am also a runner. I agree with what Friday said about a home base. I've had one for three years now, but I still don't feel like it's "home" and can't see any roots forming.

Oh yes. Moving is extremely stressful. Sounds like a good spot though - will you have to commute for work?

Hi diamondbug. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I am all too familiar with the difficulties of sharing something you've been forced to keep secret under threat of death. It's frightening. But you're so strong, and sharing your story here is an impressive start on your journey. Remember that...

Yes, you're correct, I am becoming enmeshed and lacking boundaries. I reread my message and it was well worded, and clearly defined my need to set certain boundaries. I panicked once again imagining things - and I'm working on that problem. Thanks, these posts did indeed help.

So the past couple of weeks he has blown me off multiple times when we were supposed to get together. I told him the first weekend how hurtful it was, he was very apologetic, but then a couple of nights ago he did it again, and I sort of laid into him with a long message. I tried not to be mean...

Wow that's a lot to take in. I do t believe that tests are always definitive rather there to alert the doc that something might be up. Give this all some time.

Hi. I've read only the first page of this thread, but wanted to chip in real quick. You're in a very vulnerable place. Please keep in close contact with your therapist. Keep your safety contact with your t. I was once in your position, and the combined stress of my home life and work life sent...

I needed this thread today. I've been on a hypomanic state for a couple of weeks, and suddenly today I'm triggered, and the result is anxiety, which is leading to some kind of foggy brain thing...I can't remember words or find things - I'll look for something and when I look back in the same...

Wow thank you @joeylittle ! I'm so grateful - more because your generosity is helping this valuable resource for all of us. BIG LOVE