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@Friday That's an interesting explanation. I guess as a supporter I just ask how are we to know the difference? I only ask this because my S would never talk to me about anything. His symptoms, flareups, triggers, nothing. So I was always in the dark, and had to figure out why he was reacting...

@DharmaGirl, Thanks for asking. We haven't talked at all. It's been 9 weeks now. So I'm just going through the process and moving forward with my life. Not Mich else I can do but that. I have gained such a great amount of knowledge. I am frequently on this site and a few others, just reading...

Just reading your post @NayNay75 makes me sad. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know how difficult it is. It is the worst pain in the world. And it's especially heartwrenching because it has nothing to do with love. The love is still there at the heart of the person. We know this. But I wanted...

@anonymous No you didn't come off insensitive, and my comment was NOT directed towards you at all, I see it a lot across the board. And i totally understand why you say it. Sometimes it is hard to read over and over again when your looking for encouragement and help. I tell you, when i first...

Why is it that every time a supporter has their own feelings or needs and expresses them, and the fact that they are struggling as well, we are told to "move on" Is a supporter just supposed to take everything with no expectations of their sufferer take responsibility for their own mental...

Hi confusedpartner, I don't have any words of wisdom or anything for you unfortunately. I just want to chime in because my ex is a surivior of CSA and has CPTSD as well. I had no idea, and it ripped our relationship apart. I just wanted to validate your feelings, and let you know that yes...

My ex would constantly isolate as well. At the time, I did not understand why and he would never tell me. It was like I was left to figure it all out on my own. He is in denial and refuses to get help. He would constantly say "why can't I just be accepted for who I am"? Which in turn I would...

Yes sweet pea. They can be very brutal I still see the man I love very much. It's just all very sad. My only wish is that he gets help for himself. He isn't an overly angry person, just seems to be very frightened all the time. And isolates himself like I've never seen before. I don't know if...

Thank you. It has been painful. Thanks for your well wishes!

Thanks Lee, Not really looking for any kind of canned response, just other people's experiences. It's been a rollercoaster to say the least, and although I do love him very much, your right, that it's his choice to heal or not. I think the getting blocked and previous shut outs are just so...

Hi guys I am in a current shut out/full on block from my exsufferer. At this point I don't believe I will hear from him again. It has been 6 weeks, which is the longest he has ever shut me out. I am just wondering what is the longest you have been shut out for? The time before this was 4...

Yes no, if I've pushed, it's always been about the relationship. I have never once pushed him to share about his abuse or what he has gone thru. I've never even brought it up. I shouldn't have pushed about the relationship, but I was confused and didn't understand. I was caught up in my own...

Yes even though maybe you "get it", as I finally have in the last few weeks, the outcome is still the same isn't it? You still are not with your person. You still don't get to help them and you still have to process and accept they are in a different place then you. It's very painful. I'm...

Just coming from what I know would have helped me... Just being aware of that you have this illness. Also, i would let them know to read up on it, be knowledgeable about the effects, and what helps as opposed to what doesn't for you. I know even knowing about it and being aware would have...

Hi @dulcia Just wanted to lend my support. I'm new to all of this, but I know its a rollercoaster. Just wanted to acknowledge your strength and that your not alone. Sending you light and hugs.

Thanks Eve. I for one have found your posts and questions most helpful. Makes me look at things differently then I would have looked at it.

Yes scout, It sounds like you are and further along In your journey. My sufferer couldn't put into words what he was feeling a lot of the time. I don't know if he couldn't communicate or if he just didn't even know whats was feeling. So that makes sense what your asking about, although PTSD or...

I think its hard, its a matter of maybe not understanding? I do not have PTSD, nor do I pretend to know what it feels like/what anybody goes through. All i know, is that its painful. I see how my S shuts down, and It hurts me so badly. I internalized a lot of that, because I didn't understand...

Hi @1confusedgirl I just wanted to say, as a supporter, I know EXACTLY what you are going through. Its not your fault. Please don't be made to feel badly about what happened. You are well intentioned, and were also caught off guard. My ex sufferes from PTSD, but has never addressed it, nor...

Thats understandable. I guess a good way to approach it would be to let it be and allow him to come to me? The only thing is, if he is not willing to admit himself that he has an illness, the likelihood of him being able to admit that to me is very slim, right? i am not trying to add any...

Hi @scout86 Thanks for the rundown and the responses. Generally, when I say resolve things, I mean any kind of conflict that comes up. So, for example, it could be small, like what movie to watch for a date night. Or, it could be bigger. Like if we have a fight, resolve the issue and come to...

Hi @NatBird Thank you for your reply. It's helping me know what I can/can't Do, and how to approach it differently. @LoveTea I love your name And thank you for the reply. I think I (not on purpose) overwhelm him. I am just trying to help. The shut outs cause me great pain. Although I feel...

Thanks @tlc Yes he is the exact way with communication. When we were first getting to know each other, he was better. He would always put in effort and ask about my feelings. I see now that he probably hid a lot of how he was actually feeling from me. I try not to blame myself. It's been a...

@A concerned spouse Your post touched me. I'm glad ur husband is in therapy. It sounds like it's challenging but your both willing to work through it I feel that way about my sufferers PTSD. It has been an intruder that just Rips thru us. I feel cheated out of a life with him. He is a...

@Flip flop, Right now, it doesn't seem like I'm getting much tbh. I can see him struggle with wanting to be more open with me. I feel like I've tried and tried. I know apart of him wants to be with me. But its so hard when we can't name it or talk about it. He is very thoughtful and sweet...