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It's been a while since I posted. I have stepped away from the forum to give myself some space to work on my issues without comparing it to others. The support I got here was amazing but I noticed I was mirroring others issues so I had to take a brake. Since i have been away i have worked on a...

Feeling attached to your therapist is very VERY normal, the comfort, care and attention we get from them is like no other relationship. It can be very confusing to manage your emotions and finding a way to control them is important. What works for me is being 100% honest with her, I let her...

I don't have much of an imagination and my PTSD brain didnt seem to allow me to think of a name. I was struggling to come up with something i haven't used before and something different then my personality. Like many of you I was worried someone I know will find my profile. My brain just froze...

That made me cry. I love my family so much. Thank you. Just one step at a time. :hug: I'm hanging on ... as tightly as i can.. I just ordered some decorations online. I texted my kids old nanny to see if she's available to decorate and manage everything that day. It would totally suck if...

Thank you all for your replys. They trully meant a lot and i learned a few new things from them. I'm still stuck in my well. I was able to pull myself out for a few hours last week, my therapist, husband, and friend lifted me up a bit and i was able to leave my house. I'm in the process of...

I have been batting PTSD caused by CSA. I have been depressed for a long time but i never got this bad. I can't handle PTSD anymore, I give up, it can win. The flashbacks and memories are too overwhelming, I recently had to tell family about my abuse and now everytime I look at them i see...

I know it's a stupid question. I don't know what is going on with me. I feel like I am stuck in a well trying to climb out but everytime I climb a few feet i fall straight down on my face. I just lay there encouraging myself to get back up. I have been down for 3 weeks, I can't get myself to...

So I've been in a fog for a week now. I can't seem to get myself out if it. I see myself living my life but i can't feel it. I tried all the techniques i was taught and nothing worked. So much has happened .. I spoke to an attorney to press charges on my abuser .. I told my husband and friend...

I don't have good days, I have good moments in a day. The happy moments, the moment I use a grounding technique and it works. The moment my son gives me a sloppy kiss or my daughter makes me an "I love you" card. The moments i get myself up and cook or take a shower. I have been through soo...

Nope, my T is the only one who knows my PTSD self. I'm a good faker :unsure: I smile when i feel I have 1000lbs on my chest, I laught when my abuse is on reply in my head. I cuddle and kiss my husband when i wake up from a bad nightmare. I never share what I am trully thinking or feeling. My...

When you wake yourself up early to enjoy a cup of coffee while watching the sunrise and your brain starts reminding you of every bad thing that has every happened or can happen in your life. You end up arguing with yourself to shut the hell up till the sun is put and your coffee is cold :arghh;

Umm that question confused me.. maybe she was trying to get you to realise that your undermining the SA ... very confusing approach. But from my experience, honesty and being straight forward will make this process so much easier for you. Ask your T exactly what she meant with that question...

Thank you for your reply, your support means a lot to me. It's been a tough ride with a lot of "side trips". Some days i wake up thinking i have the strength to take on anything and some days I can't get out of bed. My days are roller coaster rides, I just go along the ride, I can be extremely...

That's quite some time. Each person is different, as for me it varies sometimes for a few days or a few weeks. I've done the same as your SO, when I'm isolated and he's out of town i would call/text him many times, he made me feel safe and that there is hope. Give him some time, but remind...

Love this thred. @TexCat you are doing a great job! My kids are still young and i am so worried about them growing up. I have open discussions with my kids about their bodies but we didn't get into the sex part yet :cautious: I'm hoping I can be as open as you are with your daughters. Good...

LOL LOVE IT! But i kinda want tea now :roflmao:

I was in the same position as you at one point with my husband. He is the sweetest kindest person i know and we've been married 12 years, we had a very good healthy sex life, if not daily, almost every other day. We never said no to each other, we just knew when was a good time and when wasn't...

When someone is calling you and you really want to answer but just end up staring at your phone till it goes to voicemail...

Ya .. I took the escape route lol I wish I can just "be" .. my brain is constantly on the run, it's really not allowing me to take a breath and relax. I have an appointment with a physiologist in March maybe she can play around with my medication and help out with that .. I just need to take a...

Omg thank you for your post. It touched my heart, I needed that. Knowing I'm not alone helps but it's also painful. I don't want others feeling what I'm feeling, it's just a painful heartbreaking feeling. It feels like a big shadow over you trying to suck the life out of you and replace it...

Thanks for the hug. I really need it. Well I thought I needed a break, hoped on a plane and came to visit family, I think that was a bad move. I miss my husband and kids dearly and i really need a session with my T. I have no support here and no one knows my struggles. It was a very bad move...

Hugs to you if you accept. :hug: Your not alone. I'm sorry we are both going through this.

I really am trying to live for the good moments. I cherish them and constantly remind myself of them. But there is so much evil in the world ... it's scary .. I kid myself into thinking i might make a difference but I'm not strong enough to. Thank you for replying, it means a lot to know that...

I don't know where this road is taking me. What's the point of all this? The journey to "heal".. what the hell does that mean. You have to work through the trama .. why? What am I supposed to gain from it? Why am I traumatizing myself over and over again .. Since I've been diagnoised its just...

You simplified everything for me: Put yourself first. :) Your right, I need to come first. Good ideas, I'll send some flowers and tell everyone I came down with a bad stomach virus or something. And no my family doesn't know yet about the abuse, which is making it VERY hard for me to explain...