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My feelings of confliction were due in large part to the push pull relationship that had been created by him and his needs/wants and yes I cared still care about the person he was and had hoped in my heart of hearts that maybe he would care about my birthday, that doesn't mean I don't see it for...

I completely empathize with you and understand. I just updated my post with similar feelings. Things will get better

So after reading this thread over and seeing how I felt in the beginning vs now and the wonderful advice everyone has given me, I wish I had stopped trying sooner altogether. I wish I had just walked away and stopped giving two tenths of a crap about helping this person because you can't help...

Well it gets better, Today just now actually he comes up to me and asks me if it's okay for him to go to visit his family out of state next week and acts like he totally forgot it was my birthday, of which he was aware and so was his family. I am just so done with this individual. It's hard not...

Since becoming a mother a few years ago this has become something I have been much more aware of as I get older and she gets older. I feel a tremendous sense of embarrassment, shame, regret and everything in between in trying to cope with what I didn't understand at the time. Some things I...

I'm posting an update. I'm done with it. I'm walking away and it's for the best. This person is no longer the man I knew and has allowed his diagnosis to define his existence and uses it as an excuse as to how he has been treating me. I know there is no reasoning with it and confronting it gets...

I don't think trying to reason with him will help with anything. You are trying to come from a place of love and he is in a place of self. His mind set will not react well to any type of relationship pressures and bringing up how things were may make him feel guilty or defensive. I say that...

I know you are going through a hard time but please take some comfort in knowing you are not alone, I am right there with you at this very second. One minute a glimpse of love the next its like he is gone again. Your description of a black hole is exactly what i told my therapist. Nothing gets...

I wish I had advice. I'm in that almost exact spot. Friends for a year, talking every day 8 hours a day most days and seeing each other on site at work and always together. Start relationship and things go good for 3 months before being triggered and now no communication outside of hi. Yesterday...

One thing I have learned through my faith and therapy is that God doesn't work on my time. Reality is not as simple as what we see in our day to day and what happens in the now may not be what he can see for my overall big picture of life. I keep faith in him that he knows the end game and...

I also want to say thanks to everyone for the advice, support and perspective because dealing with this with someone I care about is entirely new to me. It's very hard. Being in a relationship was not some thing I pushed for and we were taking baby steps while making sure we maintained the...

Thanks for the encouragement. My ptsd has been for 5 years since my cancer diagnosis but I have structure around it with my providers and meds that I have developed coping skills that are good for me so I can navigate it through the rough spots but for him this is all new. It's a culmanation for...

Hi everyone, First I want to say thank you for all of the advice, it has helped tremendously to assist me in better navigating this situation. So, it seems that his medication for the ptsd resulted in a rare side effect that gave him a seizure in his sleep, which is causing him to act...

I see that and reading everyone's posts on the subject has been helpful. The isolation is just something I am trying to learn to handle. It's hard to establish a healthy medium because when I am trying to give him space he gets worried and concerned but when I try to be in his world he is not...

Thank for this explanation, I will try to incorporate this into my approach using what everyone has been so kind to explain to me. I go through similar things and I have gotten to a Zen place with it not letting it get to me when he doesn't respond and not calling and texting like before. After...

Thanks for clarifying. I have PTSD and how I manage it is different for me then for someone else so seeking a new approach to navigating it is what I am trying to figure out, thank you for your advice. I will give it a shot and try to maintain a healthy distance. I guess the situation is how do...

I guess my struggle with your advice Eve is the lack of optimism in the answer. I am a cancer survivor with ptsd and I would like to think that from my own experience that being supportive while maintaining a healthy boundary is helpful. But your advice says otherwise.

Last thing, he is not an angry person, or violent or scary or any of that. If any thing, he has become mervpus, scared, hypervigilant and easily startled. Nightmares usually result in him waking in a panicked state not an angry one. One of vulnerability and confusion. He was better yesterday and...

I understand where you are coming from but I disagree. I don't push help on him, and having the desire to help and be there for him from his own words has helped him to seek help for himself knowing he has support at home, which is something he is unaccustomed too. I am not putting any pressure...

No he has not been violent in the past, his personality is that of a lamb. He is very quiet, gentle and empathetic. His sensitive nature is what makes dealing with what's happened so difficult for him because he has difficulty expressing himself in regards to his own pain. I hope that clarifies it.

Thanks for the encouragement Luckilee and for the information. He doesn't want to move out nor does he want space so he says, just understanding. I am still giving him space to deal and not putting any added pressure on him whatsoever. My ptsd is anxiety based due to trauma from my diagnosis and...

Sorry for the typos I was using my phone and it didn't auto correct!

Thanks for the link! I read the post thoroughly and other posts outlining the stress cup and it helps put things into perspective. I guess the biggest problem for me is how I handle it. We live together, we had moved in as just friends and then you know how it goes. So navigating the distance is...

Thank you! I will go and read it right now!

Communication. Sorry my phone posted it before I was ready. He has been having nightmares and becoming more reclusive since the shaking began. His therapist says it's unresolved anger and that he should distance himself from everyone. It's been very difficult because he was a completely diffe...