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I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my case, nothing to be done. That sounds bad, I know, but it is what it is. I have no illusions or delusions remaining about human nature, the good or the bad. I honestly believe that people need illusions/delusions to psychologically shield themselves...

I know, I know, I’m chatty this morning, but the thoughts come as they will. Another thing that compounds things for me, and I imagine others here experience this sometimes as well ... you stuff all that pain and dysfunction down just to be able to function in society. But not only because of...

I just found the thought that ties it all together in my fuzzy brain: Cognitive dissonance A young child’s brain is still developing at the stage of life that we were at when this horror show was foisted upon us. It can be difficult for a fully-grown adult to handle heavy-duty, emotionally...

Sorry, had another thought to put out there. I believe that a compounding factor in childhood trauma is not just the trauma itself, but the seeing the other kids at school who (appeared?) to have had functional parents, sent them to school clean and healthy and well-cared-for, clearly lived...

I very much relate to this. Both parental units were stone-cold alcoholics, and I’m absolutely positive had personality disorders. We weren’t physically assaulted or beaten like so many others, but were without a doubt emotionally and physically neglected and severely terrorized by our...

Yes.

No worries, you are 100% correct about the booze, and I’m working on permanent abstinence at this time, although I’ve hit some potholes along the way. I have my first appointment next week with a trauma therapist, and my annual follow up with my psychiatrist the week of Thanksgiving. I had a...

Oh yeah. And if excessive alcohol is involved, it will become physically abusive as well. I’ve always liked booze, but even if I were in a situation of excess, I was always a “happy drunk”. Until my main event, and since then, it has not been a good thing. At all. I have mostly been fine...

I appreciate you posting this. I am the same, an atheist (not going to change my mind at 49), and feeling extremely uncomfortable and triggered by AA meetings. I grew up with abusive, neglectful alcoholic parents, and too much of what I’ve experienced in AA meetings reminds me of them. I...

Hi and welcome.

I’m actually curious if there are others here who feel that they have been further traumatized and constantly triggered by attending 12-step meetings. And completely aside from being an atheist/agnostic, which 21 years after my first AA meeting, I have NEVER come to believe that there is any...

Good, I was worried that I offended you in some way. Nice to meet you, BTW :)

And this will probably not be a popular opinion, but any God I could possibly believe in would not allow millions of children to be neglected, abused, raped, starved, etc. in this world every year. Or elderly people to be abused. All these pro-lifers ... they’re all good on month 8, day 29...

Is this directed at me, Lee?

And, yes, I know this sounds judgmental. I DON’T CARE. Basic human decency and respect never go out of style.

And one of the things that he said that really pissed me off ... he was telling me about how he and his friend, his fellow Army buddy, would go to strip clubs on Friday/Saturday nights all the time. Knowing he was married at that time, I asked, “So wasn’t your wife upset about that?” And the...

And before anyone judges me for judging, let me say that he tried to get me to go to a strip club and get a lap dance. Just so I would know how harmless it is. Yeah. Right. And all prostitutes are doing what they do because they just LOVE to sell their asses for money. Some, perhaps. But...

I agree. I mentioned my misgivings about exactly this in another post. I don’t want or need to know about someone’s love for porn, strip clubs, or prostitution. Why in the hell would you tell someone that, at the very beginning of a new relationship? What people want to do is their business...

Just my personal thoughts, but I have found in my own experience that 12-step programs are not the place for me. I’m agnostic/atheist for one ... light bulbs and door knobs don’t do the trick either. I don’t think adopting a paradigm of “powerlessness” is a great idea for trauma victims. Nor...

I want to ask others about their experiences with 12-step programs. Thanks for your input.

See, here’s where I’m screwed, and always have been. I have TOO MUCH empathy for others. There’s never been much black and white for me ... I’m cursed with seeing shades of grey. He’s sick, he has this condition ... my horrific abusive alcoholic stepfather ... he was terribly abused as a child...

They do it because they have no clue at first, I imagine. By the time they realize it, they are already knee deep.

I tire. I do. I get really sick of people’s bullshit. I have spent thousands of dollars on the whole travel thing, I have bitten my goddamn tongue, I have massaged the ego, I have done everything I know how to do. And still, here I sit with my ass handed to me. I wish for him to have...

I’m not a happy camper at all right now. In my fantasy life, I want to choke this prick out in a violent fashion. I’m not much for violence, so that’s weird. It’s more like I want to pour honey on him and then set a vat of fire ants loose on his ass. It would be extremely emotionally satisfying.

Menopause ... the horror show that keeps on giving.