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@Longtime ptsd thank you. I haff to allot this is my life, my entire life, and I've never sought treatment and then I see and hear all this excess typing and immediately want to know what's going on. It's rough, but it's my choice, and that's what I keep clinging to. I hope your visit goes...

I'm sorry. I'm a Roman Catholic and I completely sympathize with the masturbatory issues. I'm so sorry this has caused you issues / concerns / anxiety. I know my fiance has had these issues, especially when I'm not doing well, and for us the solution had been talking about it rather than my...

Oh the neck is so me. I absolutely lose it to the point of physical attacks if it's a person.

I woke up five times: two screaming, one sweating, and twice from my dog trying g to comfort me (he puts in a good effort) but I got four hours of sleep so that's a win.

My fiance sent a picture collage of three years ago to the day when we went on a vacation together and I looked genuinely happy. It was a really unexpected and lovely thing to receive.

Firstly I really want to thank everyone, emphatically, for the support. I took the advice given as best I could and it was invaluable. I saw my new psychologist today for intake and it went rough, I was utterly defensive and short in my answers. I go so numb with questions and they were...

1) Why does my primary care doctor keep killing plants? This seems ominous. 2) My shark should hatch soon. 3) I need coffee. 4) I am going to read a book when I get home. 5) If I ignore the phone surely it will stop ringing.

Croissant and espresso

My new meditation cushion.

It's always strange what crops up it of nowhere. I "dislike" avocado and don't eat it. I had a friend eat a half an avocado with their teeth, they cut it, pitted it, and started just... eating it. I violently emptied my stomach contents until I went into dry heaves with no clue why. An...

I saw my psychiatrist two days ago and they referred me to a psychologist after several sessions with them. The psychologist called me today to set an appointment and just chat for a bit. Great. I schedule for this upcoming Monday and now I'm having severe anxiety. I already have backup plans...

Thank you all for being so kind and welcoming. I really needed to reach out to people that can stand near where I am and see the same sort of things on the horizon. I thought I was over this so many times, and this... whatever it's called has been escalating to the point where I'm just unsure...

So, I've been officially diagnosed after avoiding for years because I'm about to walk out on my life again. I've been with my fiance for over a decade, own a home, have a career, and a lovely two year old GSD. I suffered severe abuse as a child both physically and emotionally that resulted in...