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@blackemerald1 I’m a forgiving person and I’ve forgiven him so I’m not hurt anymore and seriously don’t have any hard feelings. While I forgive, I don’t forget. I just want to be a decent human being, especially to someone that I cared for that has a mental illness. Additionally, he...

@blackemerald1 @EveHarrington I think it’s misunderstood that my pain came from not losing him, but from the not understanding what happened that we had no closure. But I have had my closure now. It was almost 2 weeks ago that I first reached out here. Having understood how ptsd can wreak...

@lostforgottensoul We had a relationship. My last post is regarding after he reached out to me. We are not in a relationship now; just working on friendship. And as friends, he has no obligation to talk to me or even to do anything with me so if he runs away, that’s okay. I no longer have...

Thank you all for your advice and concerns! So sorry that I didn’t communicate myself clearly in my last post. I’m not having a relationship with him or planning to. We’re just on a talking basis to salvage a friendship...plus I just started seeing other people and he knows that he can see...

And yeah, it’s not about needing anyone to be happy. It’s about the mind and heart trying to make sense of something we cannot understand...or that we’re trying to adjust to life without something that was a huge part of us. It’s called grieving. Please don’t mistake my pain after 2 weeks of...

Hello everyone! I have an update. My guy reached out to me. Funny how when I made a conscious decision to let go and detach heart, mind, and soul and not needing him to contact me any longer, he did. Basically it turns out, he said he ran away because he didn’t know what to do or how to...

Yesss, this is exactly it. My mind just can’t compute any of it. I don’t want to ache but sometimes it just hurts too much to repress. Thank you @WTF Happened.

I just wish he would have said “I want to end things”. It would have made a world of difference for me. The “I want you in my life, I don’t want to lose you, i want to work things out” made me believe he did. The disappearing without goodbye is just the absolute worst for me...crushingly...

@EveHarrington. I was unaware of how severe ptsd is. He told me he had it in a fleeting moment and never talked about it affecting his relationships...except he has night terrors and intrusive thoughts, which he said that being with me makes him so comfortable that he slept better and had less...

After having read everything, that’s too crazy to invest yourself wholly into someone that could turn the switch off overnight and not even remember! Now I understand why he expressed to me one night how deeply he wished he met me before he went to the army and how his life would be so...

And you also get amnesia as part of PTSD? Like you completely forget how good things were? How deeply you felt at the moment that you’d make mountains move to be with the person? All of that just disappears?! And even after some time passed when you’ve gained distance from the relationship...

So this is info we aren’t privileged to when our hearts have been smashed into pieces because of it? How is any of this fair?

So instead of being honest about it from the beginning about the severity of his illness...he worms his way into my heart, makes all these promises, gets me to open up completely so I can give all of me to him...unknowningly that he’d just one day disappear...breaking all the promises he has...

I’m so happy for you that you have come to realize the immense pain and hurt it causes your supporters.

At the time of my message to him, I was not aware of any ptsd. I was under the assumption that he was an emotionally intelligent and stable man as he made himself out to be. He was like a dream come true. This was why it was a complete mind-f*ckery when he just showed he couldn’t communicate...

@Junebug no worries at all. I just appreciate that you’ve been so generous in sharing yourself with us about how your mind works. And also, I didn’t say “if you don’t reply in 2 weeks, I’ll take that it’s over.” I said “if you don’t ever want to speak again, then your silence will give me...

@LovingH I’m sorry for your pain. What I can say from my experience is, be grateful he gave you a goodbye. I read your other thread and saw the goodbye message he sent you. I wish I received one from my guy like that, at least the end is clear.

@Junebug I read your post and it’s so sad to me that you’re obviously a beautiful person, yet deep down you didn’t feel you’re worthy enough for love. Whichever side you allowed your partners to see, it is still a side of you, it’s still who you are. So I noticed that the theme here is that...

@Friday there is a possibility he thinks we’re still together? It’s not possible as I said I needed closure and want to do my part before walking away. I even wrote that if he wanted to cut ties then his silence says it all and I will respect it. I don’t see how he could still think we’re...

@SweetPainfulLoving, thank you for taking time to reply. You speak of exactly what I felt when the withdrawal took place as I had no idea about his combat PTSD. It was around Memorial Day weekend and that was a trigger. Yes I have moved on and living my life again but I still hope to salvage...

This is totally understandable but do you just disappear @lostforgottensoul? Why didn’t he say good bye and tell me it’s over? Why was our last proper conversation literally about us working things out? All of this emotionally mess for me was due to the fact that there was no break up and no...

I just remembered something! I was on vacation while we were together and he told me he was checking the news daily to make sure I was safe; that he needed to know I was safe. I found this sweet at the time, but I had no idea it was hyper-vigilance! Oh my god, why was I so clueless.... Take...

Yes this!! We were so good together and the only reason why we couldn’t come back from our arguments was the PTSD, it was right around Memorial Day weekend, and he withdrew bad. He did tell me after that this day is bad for him and he drank to honor his fallen brothers. I was so clueless. I...

@Junebug Everything makes so much more sense now! No wonder he said being with me distracted him from having intrusive thoughts or thinking too much about it. I had no idea the severity of combat ptsd, so unknowledgeable then. Thought it was just something mild but now after extensive...

I do miss him tremendously and yearn and long for him everyday since. ??