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Does anyone else come up with life events/timeframes that they say they have to wait to go though before they can kill themselves? I recently finished up a programme that brought me a lot of joy and have entered a new stage of my life and the urge to end it is just so strong, it just feels like...

Since my partner and I got together (three ish years ago) I have had significantly fewer bouts of suicidal thoughts. However, I have recently been finding myself having thoughts that if we ever broke up I would kill myself/the only reason I don’t want to kill myself is my partner. Obviously, I...

I also experience major anxiety spikes at night. It’s an interesting comparison to make. I wonder if its to do with the lack of light or the fact i’m already tired and that spikes fear. I often feel more anxious/ heightened emotions if I’m tired anyway.

I have a few very specific triggers that I have asked my partner to avoid when it comes to intimacy. But I’ve found the more I try to avoid these triggering actions the more actions adjacent to those actions become triggering to me. The problem has gotten quite bad over the past few months, this...

I do think this is very true. Thank you for your response. I guess in some ways novelty has been a thing I've used to self soothe or regulate my feelings and I feel kind of 'dead inside' without it. Like if I don't believe there is some kind of escape what is the point.

Hello! I am not on any medication anymore, it didn't work well for me at the time, but maybe I should look into it again. I'm sorry for the regrettable decisions, I hope it all worked out. Maybe part of the problem is that making big life decisions that seemed irrational kind of saved my life...

I've been experiencing some of my worst depression in a few years recently. I feel pretty hopeless and like things will never get better. I have a great partner and a pretty good job and on paper my life is good but I still feel terrible all the time and my PTSD symptoms make it really...

Thanks so much for your post. I think what you’re struggling is really common & I would also like advice on this. The only advice I have is potentially grounding through sounds/textures when you want to be intimate which I sometimes find helpful.

Hi! I don't want to go massively into details but I would like to investigate this condition a bit more. Ideally, I'd like to read literature/resources from the victims perspective, for example looking at long term effects and adult survivors. (A lot of the websites/books I have found seem...

I am experiencing more and more trouble with sleep and was considering going on medication. Does anyone have any experience this this? What medications did you use? Have you had good/bad experiences and why? What questions should I ask my doctor? Also I am looking to get them on the NHS, so any...

Honestly I think this is very brave-- it sounds helpful as well :)

My current theory is that this creates a distancing effect. You externalise your fear and anxiety into something else and it lets you feel more in control because the thoughts are no longer in your head. I think there are definitely levels to this though. For me, high tension content that...

I really resonate with this, especially the wet blanket thing is very accurate. I think the value of shared experiences is a good point— the people I find myself trusting the most when I am depressed are those who can talk about the past/similar experiences (good & bad) in a way that is both...

I think this is really good advice! I often feel like I have two separate ways of behaving or sets of needs depending on whether I am depressed or not. I guess that’s difficult to explain to other people. But also like you said other people view you as a cohesive whole so they aren’t going to...

@Survivor3 Honestly, to me, it sounds like a great group & that you’re doing a pretty good job trying to connect with people in difficult circumstances! I wish you all the best with it & hope people are cool and understanding 😊

I really resonate with this— I think I often force myself into situations which feel unsafe for the sake of feeling like there is Someone there but in reality it often leaves me feeling more isolated. I wonder if it’s in some ways a method of cutting off connection to yourself & your own...

I also struggle with this. When I am struggling I’ve found it’s best to try to write it everyday, even if only a few sentences. How much you write is also a record of your feelings/state that can be useful to reflect on. Some days I write almost nothing and some days I write pages but I don’t...

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I do think it's helpful to hear-- I definitely also hold people at a distance which I think is what lends to me feeling so disconnected, I guess I'm afraid of the honesty.

Thank you for your reply! I think that's really good advice-- it is okay to start small and work your way up! Not being able to hold a conversation makes me feel very "alien" too.

I have massive problems with depression related to being able to connect with other people in my life. I’m very lucky to have some very good and caring people in my life who listen and who I feel comfortable sharing with, yet, when I am depressed I often walk away from conversations feeling...

@Sophy (in lockdown) Thank you for sharing your experiences-- thinking about negative messages and counter messages is always interesting to me. Good luck with getting in touch with your inner child!

Also I’m so so glad to hear you’re doing better than when you posted !

@Strangelongtrip Ooooh what’s the podcast? If you don’t mind sharing :)

Hey, sounds like you’ve had a really shitty past year. I’m sorry for everything that’s happened, it can be rough when you think you should be improving but you’re just stuck in the same place. I know what it’s like to deal with similar feelings— that no matter what I do it feels like my...

I agree. Connecting over things you love rather than just constantly talking about how crap things are is so important to me. Maybe try netflix party or something along those lines and then you can discuss the film together with your friends. I think you’re on the right lines in that the...