Mod Edit - merged thread. Old title: How long does suppression/avoidance of trauma last?
For example:
Lets say someone has a trauma incident like losing a parent, they never want to talk about it but also bury it away and any fragment or memory of it they try to remove.
My girlfriend lost...
My ex girlfriend went through having an abortion 7 months ago.
Since then I have tried asking her to go to therapy together to unpack it and talk about it. Her reasonings were due to covid and our lack of jobs, and her fear of her disapproving parents.
She shuts down the conversation pretty...
I just want to add one more point about communicating. I realize communication definitely could have been better on my part, but I also did explain things like my panic and such things. I wrote her a letter the next day explaining why I panicked and how it was never about not wanting to have a...
A part of me wishes I could move on like she seemingly did (removed me from everything, all pictures, and all post and all regard) after a few days after the breakup. I dont know how she did it.
But I cannot. I talk to my therapists that I am such a forgiving person that its hard to move on...
I am likely going to respond in parts but for the first one here you mentioned she assigned her thoughts by my actions and this is 100% true. I have the letter I wrote her the day after my panic attack apologizing and explaining my panic and anxiety, and the letter before our abortion about...
I think what you said here is why I am struggling myself even months after our breakup. I feel like she put all this blame onto me then just left me. In part I realize I cannot control that I had a panic attack but also I struggle with the fact that I did and how rejected and hurt she was from...
I guess in that regard I never really looked at it as myself blaming her PTSD, I apologize, I guess I am just use to saying that because the last year she was telling me that. "Because of my PTSD..., or Because you hurt me and broke my trust, or Because if you loved me, you wouldnt have done...
I understand, by no means am I sitting around waiting though. I am healing I would say. I talk to my therapist every other week and I have been doing CBT for my anxiety on the other weeks. I got onto depression medicine and have been unpacking my depression and such from all of this. The thing...
She has been diagnosed with ptsd by her therapist (psychiatrist I believe), idk if she was diagnosed before but from the accident she was diagnosed and when I would go with her to therapy her therapist would bring up her ptsd. Her primary doctor diagnosed her with adjustment disorder after the...
Hey Marcus, check out my post history for the one that says ****long post**** my ex asked for 2-3 years of space and no contact. Its been incredibly difficult because she ultimately removed me from her life in the span of 2 weeks.
But yah check it out.
My ex broke up with me primarily because she lost trust in me and she connected me to her trauma she unfortunately suffered the last year.
She said, "I connect you directly to the negativity of our last year and I can't disconnect you, I have tried."
For context, please check my post history...
Hey, so my story is very similar to yours. Check my post history, its a bit of a long read but my ex sounds very similar to yours in that she connects me to feeling unsafe despite all my efforts of support. She and I went through traumatic stuff (in my post) and she connects me to these negative...
Yah I agree, I think in a way were both victims, but definitely not just her which is how she made it seem. It felt like I could not be depressed or sad or anything. She even said when I told her I was depressed that, "everyone is depressed, you cant use that as an excuse" to which I said I am...
@DharmaGirl @mumstheword
Is this manipulation that she was doing in my case?
Can someone be manipulating without knowing? Because I truly believe she was convinced everything she did was right and not manipulative.
Thanks for responding. You should read the rest honestly. Its not like little things she blames me for. Its things that have made me have mental issues myself now from the blame.
I will try this. It may be therapeutic! Thank you much.
Yah the test honestly had I known I would have never done it very honestly. I was only worried because my grandparents live month to month money wise and I didn't want the state to sue them. So in my mind I figured I was choosing my...
Part of me hasn't been diagnosing but just trying to understand for my own sanity. I believe in part she has deep rooted narcissistic traits or BPD traits that were covert or quiet and come from her narcissistic overbearing and controlling father. Maybe not fully NPD or BPD but traits forsure...
******LONG READ ******
So lets begin with the good. I am 27 (M) she is 28 (F).
My ex and I were together for 6 years. I became very close with her family and siblings. Constantly going over to their houses for family events, dinners, and doing double dates with her siblings and their partners...