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Message: <blockquote data-quote="HealingMama" data-source="post: 1760360" data-attributes="member: 42233">Kayaking was fun, eventually. That was my first time on an inflatable. It's hard to feel comfortable (safe) someone else rowing when you're a control freak.My husband took our son to the playground and told me I could kayak more on my own. Kind of him to offer that. I find it much easier to be well regulated when I'm off by myself. I guess that's true for everyone, or at least other introverts.I feel like a bad mom for preferring to be away from my son to feel at peace. I feel like I am missing some motherly gene that allows a person to feel comfortable and at peace while in the swirl of parenting. Of course that isn't realistic. That's why there's mom wine and mom anxiety and moms yelling at their families all the time.My brain just forces me to pay attention to him. My husband can listen to a podcast or something while solo parenting but I try and just get broken bc I can't field his communication without losing attention on the other thing so I just get frustrated.Anyway. Kayaking was nice. I am teaching a class on designing a yoga practice to relieve stress so I guess I have some homework.</blockquote>