Would you choose to not have trauma if you could?
I’m not entirely sure myself. I like who I am and I feel I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have those experiences; even if I do have a lot of shame, regret, self-pity, etc.
I do sometimes wonder what kind of person I would have been. Would I be happier as that person? Would I have a better or worse attitude towards adversity?
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How do I stop a bad memory from popping up when I do or think about a particular thing? I made a mistake recently and this memory keeps popping up in my head most times I do or think about a particular thing, I feel hopeless, any drugs for this?
Do you have a good relationship to your inner kid? Do you talk to your inner kid? I do and some people I know do too, irrespective of whether they had childhood trauma. I also know a lot of people who have no access to their inner kid too, tho.
How about you?
https://www.betterup.com/blog/inner-child-work
So it seems I'm no longer able to "do" therapy...
There's a thread here currently on the forum about the question of "would you want to know" about your childhood trauma... For me, I always have known... All of it (well, most of it)... There's never been an option of not-knowing or un-knowing...
So, I've always been dealing with all-the-fallout right from the start... And I went to see a counsellor in my early 20s and said "I'm not coping anymore... I've been holding all of this mess from...
For years, I thought something was wrong with me. No matter what I did, it was never enough. My family dismissed me, my professional circle turned on me, and people I trusted walked away without looking back. I was left questioning everything—was I difficult? Was I broken? Was I just imagining things?
Then I saw the pattern. The gaslighting, the scapegoating, the mobbing—it was all by design. The people who erased me needed me to believe I was the problem because it kept the spotlight off...
I have a quick question about eating issues. Technically, I have Bipolar 2 depression so although I manage it I've accepted it as part of my life.
I'm slowly becoming more resilient but I have trouble with either not eating or eating way too much when I have an episode. I did see a dietitian and it was all solid advice but when my brain feels like mush I suddenly don't care. I just want to eat carbs and sugar or I don't want to eat at all and I drink so much soda! I was to where I had...
I have seldom memories of childhood and what resulted in me being removed from one parent and nearly removed from the other. In the past few months I'm getting random flashbacks of tiny snippets of things with no context, and part of me is desperate to know more and fill in the blanks, and another wants it all to be forgotten. I was more than old enough to in theory remember some of what happened and it was over a time period of years, but there is nothing. I can join some sketchy dots...
This core belief is weighing heavily on me atm, because it's time to finally let it go...
And right now I'm too bone tired exhausted to write more than that...
Growing up, all the C-PTSD trauma in our family was a family secret that must not be talked about. It's been a long journey and struggle to be able to speak about it and to experience validation of it.
On that journey, including trauma therapy, I feel like there's been an over-focussing on the trauma, to some degree. It makes me feel like most of my childhood/ life is broken, damaged, full of trauma.
But there have been many, many blessings in my life too. And I don't know how to process...
What's your view on how far you should push yourself in therapy? I obviously know that none of it is going to be easy but with me....We start on a subject... spend 1, maybe 2 sessions on it, I will decide it's too hard and ask to stop and we move to something else. So, I did it when it came to my ex and we never went back to it and now with talking about the more recent incident, I don't want to carry on with it (haven't told her that yet) it all just really threw me and I still don't feel...
In 2010 my mum passed away suddenly. For a long time prior to that our relationship had been extremely fractured. Since I opened up to my mother about the details of my cptsd (when I was 16, I’m now 51) she had blamed me for what went on ……… like WTF!!!!
Even though she passed away 15 years ago in May, I still feel like she is living in side my head. She is extremely overpowering, is only happy if I do exactly what she says, and is incredibly judgemental.
Some might find this funny, to...
Hi,
Lately, I've been experiencing some disturbing feelings but I don't know what exactly it is.
Out of nowhere, I got some memories that I didn't even remember from years ago, and it didn't go away, actually, I spent the whole day having this memories and with it some uncomfortable feelings that triggered my anxiety attacks, but today something different happened.
I was feeling restless and my anxiety was over the top, but suddenly I felt like I was not in control of my body, like I was...
I’ve been reflecting a lot on the long-term effects of scapegoating in families and social circles. When you grow up in that role, it can take years—sometimes decades—to realize that the way you were treated wasn’t just difficult but was actually a pattern of blame, exclusion, and manipulation. It affects how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and how you interpret situations where you’re not actually at fault.
For those who have experienced scapegoating, when did you first...
First off- this is *not* a post to debate politics.
The current state of politics in the US directly impacts me and people I care about. This is not a distortion. It also looks like things could get a whole lot worse for me and many others I know. Yes, things could get overturned. Yes, things could get better. My PTSD symptoms are high. I am assuming I am not the only person who is dealing with this? How are you all coping? Tips and tricks? Anyone want to vent?
(mods, sorry if this is in...
What do you think it is to be self aware in therapy. I have this long email to send my therapist and I've wrote how I feel like I'm pretty self aware, because I do....but what does that mean to you? Would you guys say I was pretty self aware too?
First I had no idea where to put this so if it needs to be moved, have at it.
I was thinking about how so many people struggle with the care they didn’t receive when the trauma happened. Then I started wondering, What would that look like? I mean what kinds of words of comfort can anyone provide that helps a 10 year old CSA victim feel anything but terrible?
What do you say to a victim of rape that somehow could help them be whole again?
It’s kind of like what can anyone say to the war...
Is anyone experiencing excessive sleep, I don’t have energy to do anything throughout the day I just want to sleep the day away?
I joined the gym recently and I've booked a spin class for Thursday...but I didn't think it through 🙈 If it was my old gym that I'd been to before, I'd be fine but because it's a new gym I've never been to/I don't know the layout etc I kinda feel like I need someone to come with me for the first time but there is no one I can ask. I feel ridiculous but I have issues with anxiety. I don't know what to do 🙈 please tell me It's not just me like this! 🫣
Hi! So i had my first session back and it was OK. She has said that i should be curious about why it is I can read/watch all the horrible things around true crime/drawn to law and order SVU but can't talk about my trauma. I don't know, I guess I've never really thought about it 🤷♀️ I this a trauma related thing?
At this very moment-as I'm writing this- my abuser/father is passing. Some family is with him continuously. I must work, so I won't go see him till later - if I choose to. My husband has been wonderful and realizes how hard this is for me. We went last night to see him. I couldn't figure out what I was feeling - if anything. I didn't know even what to say to him (between him and me)
I know that he is technically gone...so whatever I say or do is only for my benefit, not his. Do I want to...
I hear the word closure used a lot but I am not sure I understand the idea. I understand that as we deal with our trauma our view of it evolves, anger can turn into forgiveness or acceptance or murderous rage. But closure to me implies some sort of endpoint. Do our views on our trauma ever stop evolving? Is there really an endpoint as the word closure implies?
Diagnosed cPTSD - childhood sexual abuse - I seem to keep getting into narcissistic relationships. The first one was through high school - about 5 years long. Guy broke my phone and windshield, tried to break my fingers, etc. - left me when he found a new girl while we were together - you know the deal. 2nd guy I dated 9 years! We got engaged even. Lived with him. He would literally FREAK out on me and go suicidal if I tried to even mention how I felt. He punched holes in the wall - broke...
I am really happy tonight as I've been freaking about my "switching off" moments which can last up to 10 minutes and finally found out why.
There is no apparent trigger apart from I'm not too happy with life at that time. Problem is I haven't got a "graduated" emotion switch. So I'm either smiling or crying, quiet or raging, well down or flying high. The end result is. I just switch off, aka zone out.
I don't collapse or anything dramatic. I just stand, sit, and it even happens when lying...
Anger is an action, which is made up of many other emotions. When you understand the emotions that trigger anger, you can help yourself to control those smaller emotions, which in turn controls your anger.
Fight, flight & freeze are automatic, instinctive survival responses, not thoughtful or considered responses. Which one occurs depends on the limbic system’s perception of the strength and time available.