"One" of my Demons just passed away. I have convinced myself that He was the last one. So, now they are all dead. My family-or some of it- knows about "this" Demon. Now that he is dead, they think that I should just "move on" and "let it go". I don't understand why I can't. In the past I just forgot it all, then it came back in a wave. Then I remembered more, with even more details. Are they right? Now that He is gone - should the thoughts and memories also just fade away? I'm kind of lost...
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I found an interesting study about selective mutism, it mentions an "unsafe world" model.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00702-021-02404-1
This relates to how I even feel today as an adult despite not going mute anymore. There was only one therapist who understood my behavior as a sign of a constant feeling of not being safe. Now looking back it even makes more sense.
There is much talk about a high sensitivity to stimuli as a cause, but a possible connection to trauma is...
This is a strange one but I'd like to get some reponses.
Earlier today I was diagnosed with Dyspraxia. During the assessment I spoke to the Occupational therapist about the ill treatment I received at school from both teachers and pupils about my schoolwork and my attempts to stop some of the abuse eg Cheating. I'm writing this because after the assessment I was overcome by flashbacks of cheating and felt so ashamed.
Has anyone got any thoughts?
Just that question really. How do I ease my anxiety enough to stop trying to control the future and situations?
Yesterday my mother scolded me for being rude to a guest when I ignored her, and she believes that my being rude is an ongoing problem. We both said some things, and then I realized:
I just realized that I don’t love my parents. They didn’t do anything major to make me dislike them, I just don’t feel any attachment towards them at all.
I have a twin sister and she’s probably the only person I actually like. I don’t care for friends, extended family, strangers, idols, paramours, or anyone...
I recently came out of the thick cloud of my C–PTSD. The worst lasted over 10 years with a delightful edition of opioid addiction. I have survived and I’m at currently at the point where fear is holding me back from getting a job/starting a new career. I love Photoshop so I recently purchased it with my Newly gotten laptop. I haven’t used a computer in over 10 years. But now I’m at a loss as to what to do next. I feel like my imagination needs a boost. There’s no spark there… I used to be...
Hi I have been struggling with CPTSD and I have been struggling with the core belief that my only real use is being a sexual object. I was assaulted in a nightclub when I was 22 (I'm 31 now) and I don't remember much except for freezing and the feeling of him grabbing my arm and throwing me against the wall. When I told my family they didn't take it well. My sister was assaulted and she was showered with sympathy and understanding. When I was attacked I was called a whore and my other sister...
I've realised lately I've been avoiding the outside world due to my trauma. In the past I've been molested and raped. Everytime I go outside I get 2-3 men staring like I'm a piece of meat, it feels dehumanising and makes me so uncomfortable. Can anyone relate?
I am struggling almost every afternoon with anxiety. This has been going on for over a month and I just thought about maybe it is the heat that is setting it off. Has anyone else noticed this? I just start feeling a little funky and just not all there. I feel some numbness on my face and kind of like I am going to faint.
I've been Journaling past painful experiences as they come up the last few days. Try to sit with them. Try to look at myself compassionately and without judgement them thank my mind and let it go. To say it's painful and difficult would be an under statement. Anyone else ?
Thank You ❤️ 🙏
Hi Everyone, I'm new here and I have experienced cumulative/complex trauma, a few different types that I'm not going to disclose because it feels a bit too much for me to do that right now.
My trauma ended at the end of April last year and there was 41 years of it and I'm in therapy, I've been in and out of therapy for 17/18 years but there was something I missed that meant I was being re-traumatised during recovery, sabotaged I guess by a family member and for the first time since it...
I don't know if I need another therapist. I've been with my current therapist for over a year now, and I will admit that I have shown progress with my current therapist. I'm better than I was, for sure, but I don't know how to talk to her about certain things, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I was previously diagnosed with DID, and I was getting better with allowing my headmates to front and not masking as much, but then she told me I don't have DID. We spiraled, and then all that progress...
Without going into all the details/ background, I had a therapy session on Tuesday and the topic was suicidal thoughts and how that's played out over the years both during childhood trauma and since then.
This (relatively new for me) therapist is so weird... He's a specialised trauma therapist and he's good at his job.
But I don't really "gel" with him well on a personal level.
Anyway, so this session was completely about this topic of suicidal thoughts and feelings.
While I'm glad that...
Some days I feel like my senses are hyper sensitive. My ability to hear things is overwhelming and my ears feel different. At this point everything becomes annoying, even talking with people holding basic conversations. I hear the mouth breathers, the spoon scraping against a soup bowl, chewing with your mouth open, clicking a pen, clipping nails, lawnmowers etc.
I feel anything that touches our skin despite being told nothing is there. Well, it is and I feel and no one can tell me...
This is an odd one but I’m throwing it in. Over the past 2 nights I’ve had some very unusual dreams. I’m not going into details but they are of me being not just free but also a dynamic determined man. A cross between a roving troubleshooter and traveller. I’ve woken up today and wonder if it’s possible to make that dream version of me real?
It seems that many of us have been diagnosed and re-diagnosed and misdiagnosed and been accordingly mistreated for all of our ailments. I recently saw a post by arfie describing just this. I have often thought and would like to know your thoughts on whether most, if not all mental illness stems from trauma. Thanks for enlightening me with your input from your experience. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts. ❤️
I try to learn about trauma and ways to improve my symptoms, but sometimes this makes it worse ): right now my looking into core beliefs turned into looking into attachment stuff and now I'm triggered and missing my therapist.
I am kind of new to this. She is my first long term therapy, I've seen her about a year and a half, and I am so deep in the maternal transference thing with her. She knows and being very open about it has helped a lot. However sometimes I still hurt so bad!! Like...
Just wondering what insights you all have on this. When does it cross the line from burnt to depressed? How can you tell? And what can you do to avoid it?
I know I'm burned out. Absolutely. And I keep trying to add things in that will help mitigate that. Like more time at the gym, more contact with other people. Better nutrition. Better sleep. And it will feel like I do a little better for a week or two, and then a little worse (with poor choices around coping skills, mostly, and mostly...
Nobody may understand the depth of these feelings, but please try not to guilt-trip me or rub this in, because I already feel bad and terrible enough. When I was 13 years old, I had anger problems, was getting my medications adjusted, got bullied and abused when I was younger, had some mental illnesses. When I was 13 years old, I made a mistake by being mean and abusive to my pets, and I cannot forgive myself for this even though I stopped when I was 15 years old and I am now currently 18...
I recently lost a sibling and I didn't have anyone's support, no comforting words, just nothing at all from anybody. I couldn't even get anyone to go to the funeral with me. Of course I was very upset over the loss but nobody seemed to notice or care.
People seem to think I am so strong, that I can handle anything that life dumps on me, probably because I have learned how to act that way. Probably because they didn't see me cry, didn't think I was going through a hard time.
I feel really...
Does anyone with intense anxiety feel afraid of everything? You lose total concentration, you can't perform tasks or Hobbes, you get stuck in it all the time and when you do something it leaves you with the feeling that you're not having fun, that you're wasting time, all this fear arose from threats that I suffered, my unconscious is remembering the difficult moments, I had a crisis today, I was getting better but after riding on the back of a motorcycle on a road it may have triggered this...
Hi i’m new to this forum and have CPTSD.
Can anyone relate to this? A lot of the time i try to distract myself or disociate. Any time anything bad / traumatising happens i disociate it which usually takes like a week. I feel useless/worthless so i try to study or think / journal to figure out things but end up feeling inferior again because other people are so far ahead. All the time i feel like i should be doing better but even when i am working at reasonable/good jobs i feel unworthy and...
Hi. I have been taking Sertraline for cPTSD for several months now and don't find it is working. One of the reasons for taking it was due to waking up every night with an intense feeling of stress in my mind as well as constant anxiety. However, I haven't felt any benefit and instead of calming me it's made me more irritable and tense. I don't wish to take sleeping medication rather an SSRI or similar that can help me. Would anyone have any recommendations as to what has worked best for them?
An AI engine came up with the following "mindfulness" approach for dealing with flashbacks - instead of getting swept away in the experience, try to put some distance between yourself and the events. Try to bee like an observer, describing the scene and what is going on without judging or getting caught up in it.
I then got into a discussion with it about the person in the scene - should I see him as me or try to see him as someone else. It came up with the following:
I'm curious as to...
Sometimes I google images of dead people.
My grandmother died recently. I saw her body. My relatives were crying, but I wasn’t. Her adopted daughter was just sobbing. It was so weird. After it was all over, I cried at night when no one was looking, because I was scolded for crying as a child and I’m afraid to show it. When I looked at images of corpses on the internet, on the one hand I wanted to evoke some kind of feeling in myself, but on the other hand it calmed me down. Because I...