Poll What Gender Was The Perpetrator/s Of Your Sexual Abuse?

[Bedbug]

My abuser was female, the same as me. I developed a general distrust of women and a hatred of female sexuality. For many years I wondered if I was actually a man trapped in a woman's body. My body disgusted me. It wasn't truly mine. I didn't have sexual relationship until the age of 28, when I met my husband. I am more comfortable with my sexuality now (although I still have some difficulties) and have no problems with his.

 

[Abstract]

Bedbug, I have heard that same sex abuse can add an extra dimension to the difficulties in certain ways as it can create all sorts of identity and other issues. Sorry you have had to deal with this.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

All of my sexual abuse came from males, except one woman who didn't do anything towards me except talk a lot and told me that if I was still a virgin at 11, I was obviously frigid and a lot of other things similar. I found her very disturbing and still do even after all that has happened since, I don't know why those words cause such a strong reaction in me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Nevermind.

 

[franciemarnie]

I read sexual abuse by men is significantly more common, but can any study be certain? There can be so many flaws and margins for error in any system of study.

Assuming it is true that women and men murder and commit suicide differently with women supposedly going the more passive route like pill overdoses and poisoning v more violent means of suicide and killing, I wonder if abuse by females is just as common but less overt.

I think men and women are equally capable of evil. Just thinking out loud the means might be different due to socialization, culture, etc.

 

[Abstract]

Or at least way more common than people think Franciemarnie. I think it's something people still discuss less and there are many people out there who don't think women do this when they do.

Interesting thought about it being a certain amount of female abusers who are less overt. Some are right out there of course and as aggressive with it as is possible.

 

[Abstract]

I don't know why those words cause such a strong reaction in me.

Kas, I find it interesting how different things affected me and sometimes I really can't understand why one feels worse than something else. There will be a reason but I can't grasp it. Prior to that did you have a view of women as being the one safe place maybe? Words can be devastating and manipulative I find. They can attack the core of us in certain ways if well placed.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Prior to that did you have a view of women as being the one safe place maybe?

No, proir to that I had been raised a large part by my narcissistic grandmother, bullied by several female peers and something incredibly complicated by a female teacher.

 

[Abstract]

proir to that

:(

I have also had the female emotional abuse and bullying and that has it's impact too. I can understand why the woman's comments affected you badly by the way. Please don't feel obliged to say more or answer but you mention her talking a lot too and am assuming some of that was of sexual content?

 

[franciemarnie]

I knew someone whose mother encouraged her brother to abuse her. Indirect means of coercion, control, assertion of power, violence, etc.

I have read that as male-female equality increases in certain countries, so too does the level of violence women manifest.

But then again, I have read that male and female brains are evolutionarily adaptively different. So if women's brains are theoretically different in re to protecting the children like in a fight or flight situation, maybe the way they would destroy them would always be different.

Oh man - am I thinking sick on a Saturday morning! But such is the brain my trauma created. Always trying to understand why.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

I will think about your questions @Abstract and get back to you.

 

[The Albatross]

All male, though as a child a friend with abnormal prurient interest and three older brothers sparked me to cut ties.