Recent content by AJ45

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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Water
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    I always make lists. Its like you do everything you should yet..... Holidays havent existed since like middle school I cant so much respond to what you say very drained but am trying to understand
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Will always miss mom. Never really got chance to be with her. And offering i guess. I go between ideation and further. Helpline the people are so sweet and try. so hard. Not sure its helpful enough :/. Your words are very sweet.
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Each day is a new day but feels like torture/hell. Whos to say earth is only place and human is only form. Maybe some belong here and some dont. My biological mom didnt seem to belong here she killed her
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    God i wish it was that easy/simple
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    To not be here. Im already a ghost and have been a good part of my life. I dont belong in this world and never have. There are other places in universe to be something else that we as humans cant understand. Hiw about you?
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    Panic because of thoughts/urges

    Has anyone ever panicked because brain screams/urges to do certain things to end all the pain suffering crap and darkness of life? Along with desperately trying to get help and having it not help or even make things worse? Constant thoughts that break you down to point where panic and you start...
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    Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

    thank you for saying all this. I wish i could say more but so drained and turning whats in brain into sentences is stupidly challenging. Its hard when really nothing else.
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    Lost not much help. Hang on mind not good

    Ive tried so hard to get proper support and it just doesnt seem to exist. Things are getting worse and i dont have reasons to keep being here. With covid help is even more impossible and no way will i chance getting 5150d or go to hospital its not an option. I heard from a nurse "friend" a...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    programs was trying to get into was 2 week voluntary, more peer crisis place where you stay there and yes length and location matter. Last time i checked local PHP place wasnt taking people.
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Yes. Not sure where those places are but yes US. Not accepting referrals, other place is full. Not sure why not accepting. But yes COVID has made things even more impossible. She said another place was accepting referrals that was almost a week ago and havent heard anything but huge issue...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Ive done it twice and yes in very short term at least got some sort of breather but other issues came up. First place i didnt eat whole time was there not a quiet place sleep sucked. Nurse put me in room that locked from outside so i was safe from others ironically state facility really bad...
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Unfortunately here even if go in voluntary as i did last time they can still 5150
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    well shit tried to get into program, fail. at wits end

    Tried that once still dr 5150d
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