Recent content by AnxiousAmber

Oh god, I'm sitting at my laptop studying and I just remembered the HORRIFIC nightmare I had last night. I was with my mother (whom I have no memory of abusing me) and I was asking her detailed questions about abusing me / raping me and trying to get her on record on my phone. She answered and I...

This is an interesting and inevitable question we all possibly encounter from time to time. TBH I don't care if it did or did not have an impact on them, nor do I care to consider the 'why' aspect. This is a simplistic, reductive approach but I don't wish to give any mental energy or time to...

Afternoon all, This is just me writing about yesterday. Last year I suffered a horrific nervous breakdown which lasted for nine months. I was refused treatment for being either 'too ill', 'too distressed' or because I am prosecuting CSA (incest). I went utterly BANANAs. I was hallucinating...

I had the police called on me by am academic WhatsApp group on a post graduate mental health degree because I was articulating despair. It made me angry and I was irritated and it was total strangers. At the same time I understand that most people haven't got a clue about what CPTSD does to...

Hi Ellisael, Thank you for responding. Isn't it nice to know we're not alone when it comes to losing track of things. I disassociate when I am nervous too and I have had people come up to me who seem to know me and I have NO recollection of EVER having talked to them. Please do share the...

I can very much relate to this. When I am emotional or reliving pain I can't even look my partner in the eye.

Hey there, I suffer from Alcohol problems. I've just come out of a seven month bender. When I am drinking I can lose months, let alone hours or days. I disassociate so desperately. I don't know about other selves but I DON'T feel like myself nor do I act like myself when I am in this state...

Morning/Evening, I have spent the last seven months in the grips of a nervous breakdown. This wasn't helped by my self coping mechanism of alcohol - which is finally out of the picture. During this time I remember maybe one or two days as even on days when I wasn't drinking I just wasn't on...