Recent content by BLA

I guess you know how it doesn't feel brave. It is scary. It feels like any moment someone could come out and challenge you on it. I have struggled with people calling me brave and strong because it feels like I am breaking when they do and how can you be strong if you are breaking? I am glad...

So my childhood is kind of question mark for me. There are things my siblings remember that I don't. Even my younget sister seems to remember more than I do. Granted we are only 16 months apart but I would think I would remember more being older. I am certain my older sister remembers more but I...

Thank you. Not sure I know how to be gentle with myself right now. I am going to try though.

Thanks everyone! It's very hard for me to reach out. I think I have had a fear of rejection at least as far back as my teen years so I it's a bit nerve wracking meeting new people. No actually I even have that fear with family and friends I have known a long time. It is nice to be welcomed...

I would like to know but since it has been so long ago and two out of three hospitals I was at have closed. The one that is open is the county hospital but I think they might have closed their psych ward since a psychiatric hospital opened up next door. I might try though because I do want to...

Thank you and I hope you have a good evening as well. :) Okay this emoji is weirding me out and I don't know why but hopefully you get the sentiment.

I actually called it a series of unfortunate events because that just keeps popping in my head when I think of my life. Also I can be cheesy at times so it was the only thing I could think to call it.

I am not sure how to do the tag? Is it just @ and your username? I can't seem to get this quote thing down. My brain just doesn't want to learn new things lately.

Not really sure where to begin here. Do I begin at the beginning, the middle, or the present? Maybe what is in my head at the time but my head is such a mess lately. I find myself thinking of things I haven't of in a long time. Maybe a short history to start? I think I forget things that...

Thank you guys. Going to check out starting a trauma diary.

I feel like it is my only responsibilty but at the same time have gotten conflicting statements from people in the system. Like for instance I am afraid he could drink and drive with our son and have a court order that says he is not supposed to drink before and during visits. I have been told...

No I have not started a trauma diary. I did start writing a few weeks ago about all my trauma going back to when I was a kid and I got stuck. Wait is that considered a trauma diary? I start thinking about all the things and my head starts to spin and I just don't know how to continue. Things I...

Thank you. It feels lonely a lot of times dealing with this. I did send an email after my son was back with me to state what the court order says about visitation. I don't like emailing him while he has our son because I don't want to set off his anger while my son is there. He dared me to tell...

So my earliest trauma I think happened when I was five I think. There have been many traumatic events in my life so when I am trying to figure out which trauma did the most damage I am confused. I have spent a lot of my life believing it all wasn't that bad. That I had dealt with my earliest...

So I have been trying to figure out how to set a boundary for my son asking his father for things and his Dad just showing up but I hadn't quite figured it out yet. On Thursday my son's father emails me to attack me over our son's requests for food two nights this week. I responded back that...