Recent content by blackswan

Thanks all, it helps to know that I'm not the only person in the world dealing with this kind of thing. He does want to help himself. He's been in therapy on and off since his teens, and is only not seeing someone right now because he's in the process of moving from one therapist to another...

I'm exhausted. The roller coaster never seems to stop and, for the first time, I'm questioning if we have a future and whether staying put is sustainable. I don't know how long I can keep doing this, and it's breaking my heart :'( Boyfriend and I have been living together for a little over two...

I haven't experienced living with an alcoholic, but I have definitely experienced stuffing down my emotional reaction so that I start snapping while continuously exposed to a behaviour that is causing problems in my life. I know the hope for change that comes with the happy patches, and the...

I often tell myself the phrase - you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Highlights to me that even with all the will in the world you don't actually have the power to change another person. No one can save anyone else or fix anyone else. All we can do is create an environment...

You're back together :) back on the roller-coaster together anyway. I remember how heart broken you were previously, it's nice to hear that things have progressed positively :) My boyfriend finds me tidying or talking about cleaning triggers his fight/flight, it's so mundane that I (still)...

When Boyfriend is overwhelmed his emotions shut down, and the good ones (like love) get turned off just as much as the bad ones (fear, panic, grief, dread etc). He can't look at me and can barely talk to me in this state and it's because he has strong feelings about me (which push to break down...

Oh, I had a thought... if you need to verbally talk and vent to someone you can definitely call Lifeline (13 11 14 - free call from mobile phones). Lovely people, I like them a lot. Call as often as you need too, there are lots of people dealing with chronic stress or chronic illness that call...

Hey @Josh4757, it sounds like you're on a good path :) It's scary, sometimes you'll do the wrong thing, sometimes she'll do the wrong thing, sometimes you'll want to leave, sometimes she'll want to leave, sometimes things will feel REALLY awful... so it's pretty much exactly like a relationship...

My understanding is that disassociation is an innate coping strategy for inescapable trauma, and that once it is "activated" it becomes more and more utilised and therefore more and more available because it's actually pretty effective (in the short term). It makes sense to me that it would...

It sounds like you guys have had an adult and mature conversation about how things stand at the moment, and have made a plan together about how to proceed. These two things suggest to me that you're in good stead to be able to move through this difficult time :) teaming up together is the most...

I'm going to pop a caveat on @NicG's very warm and loving suggestion to "remind her that she can tell you whatever she wants about her past". Because vicarious traumatisation is a real thing. Therapists are trained and supported to be able to manage full detail disclosures regarding traumatic...

Hi @cody ray, welcome :) I'm a supporter as well and truly understand how difficult it is watching the person you love go through so much pain. I've often wanted it all to just be fixed! But it unfortunately doesn't work like that. It's important to remember that it's not up to you too fix...

Sighs - all the time (well not ALL the time but definitely often). In fact right now, which is why I'm on here and cruising around. *supporter solidarity* :)

PTSD or no PTSD, just follow normal grievance procedures. In all the large organisations I've worked for this is: 1) try to resolve it with the other party, 2) take it up the chain of command. If your ability to complete your duties is being impaired and the two of you can't resolve things then...

It sounds like he's incredibly overwhelmed in August and September. There might not be much you can do during this time except look after yourself and be gentle with him, and once things start improving again in October the push for engagement with professional support could begin. It also...