General Lonely

[Sighs]

Do other supporters feel lonely at times?

I love my vet and he and I are best friends. But I am careful not to vent to him, or even discuss other stressors in my life with him so as not to add to his stress cup.

I moved interstate from my family to be with him and then he and I moved together to a rural area where we don't know anyone. I have tried to keep up with my old friends but they are living very different lifestyles to me. I'm not on Facebook anymore after a number of typical FB dramas with a variety of people.

I work with nice people here and they are friendly but obviously I can't talk to them about the PTSD roller coaster! I don't want to invite anyone over or 'make friends' with the neighbours as my vet is very private and struggles with social interactions.

I guess I'm reaching out here as I feel a bit isolated.

 

[mrsps]

Hiya
Im not a supporter, but just wanted to say that here is a great place to reach out as I am sure there will be others along soon that can relate to what you are going through. You wont need to feel so alone in here :)

 

[Toria]

Hello Sighs - I'd say you pretty much summed up my life too - so you're certainly not the only one! x

 

[KwanYingirl]

If you can't bring people to the house to socialize, can you take up some hobby outside of home where you can meet people? Do you go to church? I lived in a very small town for many years and friends were hard to find. Joining the church connected me to my community and no one cared that my husband wasn't there. Are there opportunities to volunteer in your town? Serving on a committee or helping the school. Just some things I did to not feel all alone. My now ex husband never left our home except to work. Boring!!!!

 

[RussH]

This is a good place for you to meet people and you can vent here.

Have you thought about sitting down with your vet and discussing what would be safe subjects for you to be able to talk about and vent with him. It would be things that he could listen to without getting stressed over it.
Just a thought.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Hey Sighs!
Some nice advice offered by our members, thus far. Just wanted to join in and offer a :hug:'s if you accept them.

I know often significant others can get caught up in our PTSD stuff and miss out on some of the fun stuff in life.
However, isolation as an adult can also happen during many stages or situations. For example, one day, I looked in the mirror in between being a basketball Mom, loving wife and working woman, ect and was startled at my rocket hair and smudged make-up. I looked like a zombie! lol And I had cut out my time for me without even realizing it.
So glad you opened up and reached out to do something for you. :tup:

It is important to find a happy place and balance for yourself so that you can feel included in your own life. You deserve self-care. Nice to met you.:)

 

[Sighs]

@RussH - From my experience it very much depends on his mood. If his stress cup is (relatively) low then he's quite able to chat about my day at work etc but if his stress cup is close to full then anything that sounds like a "complaint" from me will set him off. He once told me he didn't think he could be in a relationship with anyone because he isolates from society but any partner will be "like an ant bringing sh*t home to the nest".

Thank you for the support here - its very helpful to know I am not alone!

 

[blackswan]

Sighs - all the time (well not ALL the time but definitely often). In fact right now, which is why I'm on here and cruising around.

*supporter solidarity*

:)

 

[blackswan]

Oh, I had a thought... if you need to verbally talk and vent to someone you can definitely call Lifeline (13 11 14 - free call from mobile phones). Lovely people, I like them a lot. Call as often as you need too, there are lots of people dealing with chronic stress or chronic illness that call daily as part of their self care. They have a really great resource directory as well so they might be able to track down appropriate face-to-face groups or services in your local area too.

As an option :)