Recent content by Brenton

Got a 70. My DID is severe. I live my life mostly as two different people. There's others, but it only two or three that do most of the work. I lose most of the day, every day. I'm rarely not in a dissociated state.

Mine never shut up. They have something to say about everything, and I do sometimes speak out loud, not aware that I'm doing it,

I'm in the opposite place. Everything seems dead right now, like a room of dolls and I cant feel anything. I dont want to scream, I dont want to run, I dont want to get laid, or drink, or snort H, or even go home. I feel like nothing can soothe me right now. I feel like a corpse. My depression...

I cut so deep I had to go to an urgent care type facility. The ER would be all night and I was afraid of pysch eval. I was not suicidal and felt a lot of shame and regret. The staff was very nice and didnt make me feel like I did something wrong. They asked if I was in distress, the Dr. said...

I'm not going into details as not to trigger, but I had a major episode and feel the shame of hiding wounds all over again. My therapist looked so worried about me it made me feel like I failed her. I've been suicidal for the last few weeks, fluctuating in severity. Same with SH, comes and goes...

Good question. I was like that, and it just changed over time, for me, it was someone finally listening to me and it felt good to open up. As I got better I needed to vent less and less. I struggle with seeing my T as a friend, she is not, she is my T and our relationship is professional - not...

I'm so insecure I don't leave the house unless I'm well dressed. I haven't worn a T shirt or shorts outside in a long time. I'm a writer so I can dress how I want, but I still dress it up on a daily basis. I don't seek approval, I just don't want to be rejected; there is a difference, at least...

Thanks all I've been feeling sick all day, and feeling like I don't want to live any more. But, I'm not one who believes that suicide solves anything and I know things change. It just sucks to be so profoundly unhappy and in pain.

I'm 3 weeks into 10mg of Prozac and it was okay, but it started to change and today I'm almost paralyzed with depression, self-harming thoughts, and lethargic beyond words. I feel so guilty for not being better by now, and so alone in keeping how I feel a secret. I know its bad, but I feel like...

I wrote a suicide not that became a story, that got published... I would have shot myself for sure if I didn't have the outlet.

My T does some therapy techniques they use with children, and it helps. She has a box of stuffed animals she wants me to hold when I'm twisting my fingers or really figetting. I said, "So, I'm like a disturbed 9 year old?" She said, "Some parts of you are." She's right... that broken boy is...

I'm right where you are, same age too. I can't get past it either. Someday, but its not easy.

I can't stop hurting over being abandoned. Its been with me all day, and its painful - very painful. He just left me. How can you just leave your own flesh? If he really loved me, nothing could keep him away. He showed up again in my early teens and he's always treated me like I'm an idiot...

I made mine cry too, but she cried for me. I was telling her something really painful and she got all misty and started crying, like tears and everything.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I'm shocked, and that's hard to do. Report her for blackmailing you into more sessions, which = more money.