Recent content by chai

My family is SO DYSFUNCTIONAL that the only things that connect them are social norms and money. As a child, I woke up to the sound of an argument. My grandmother was overprotective of my mother, now my mother is an adult with child's brain. Another grandmother ran away from an abusive husband...

Realizing everything people have done or not done to me leads to aggression. This awareness led to me finally starting to do what I'd always wanted, I became more self-confident—and it worked. But I can no longer bottle up all my emotions; now that I'm aware of them, it's unbearable. I can't...

(Eng is not my first so sorry if there's any mistakes) I hate and can't forgive my classmates in college. What they did wasn't bullying like you see in movies?? Like, no physical pressure and no constant insults. But my social anxiety got really bad because of them. Whenever someone else made a...

I drink very rarely. And like, I asked her if I could kiss her, and then she said she can teach me, and I guess she kissed me? I'm not sure, I don't remember. I kinda wish she just refused cuz she was more sober than me lol. I know it was a bad idea. I mean, when she left my house, I was still...

ENGLISH NOT MY FIRST!! I've always hated myself. I remember the first time I started self-harming was in elementary school. I was very different, not like other kids. Poorly socialized due to overprotection, I was "gifted" and "the smartest and most studious" in the class. When other kids...

Usually I do, but this day was kinda f*cked from the begging. I almost didn't sleep, didn't eat anything but couple of snacks.

I feel like it was my fault if I asked first.

I was going to have a drink with friends, we hadn't seen each other for a long time. I get drunk quickly, so usually beer is enough for me, but this time we decided to go further. One of my friends has a lot of experience with alcohol, she knows how to drink properly and stays sober longer than...

I've had a lot of bad situations in my life and what I'm going to talk about next is not the worst, but it won't let me go. I had some terrible classmates in college. They made fun of people who were slow at the board, sexualized girls. I can't describe everything because I just don't remember...

Sometimes I google images of dead people. My grandmother died recently. I saw her body. My relatives were crying, but I wasn’t. Her adopted daughter was just sobbing. It was so weird. After it was all over, I cried at night when no one was looking, because I was scolded for crying as a child...

I'm C. Eng not my first, sorry for mistakes if there's any. I have a diagnosed personality disorder. I've never talked to the therapist about my trauma. I just can't. I can't. Looking at my life from the outside, I ask myself - why? Why is it so strange? Abuse I've faced was weird too. In...