Recent content by David1959

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    Coming to grips with multiple traumas as a child

    Actually that is sort of what I fear because I have been blaming myself my whole life, not sure I am a good judge of my own guilt. Obviously not but I made sure both my children did go to college and understood from when they were young children you go to elementary school, then middle school...
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    Coming to grips with multiple traumas as a child

    After 6 months of weekly therapy with a really insightful therapist I am trying to come to grips with what I have learned were multiple traumas in my youth. For over 45 years I never told a sole but new inside that I was damaged by abuse of a pedophile from 10-12. I have lived with the self...
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    Trying to come to grips with my parents and my childhood traumas

    Coming to the realization that your parents whom you loved and cherished where in fact, not perfect is a gut punch.
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    Trying to come to grips with my parents and my childhood traumas

    Let me start off by saying that I loved both my parents deeply and they loved me as well. This is what is making this process so complicated. With guidance and help from my T I am beginning to understand my childhood was more complicated. My parents had their issues and got divorced when I was...
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    Intensive EMDR

    I have read that EMDR can be very effective. My initial T 5 years ago who had been practicing EMDR for 30 years tried 4 times with me, could not even scratch the surface of the steel wall surrounding my Traumas
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    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    Quick follow up. Went to the Dr who confirmed a Laryngospasm. The good news is he said it might never come back but if it does he taught me how to counter it. What caused this, all part of a neuropathy issue I have that actually my be tied to my PTSD. The journey continues
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    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    I have spoken with my T through email and after my medical appt on Tuesday, based on outcome it may be kicked over to my T One good piece of news I am getting my first vaccine shot next week :-)
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    I almost Died Two Nights Ago

    I had the strangest thing happen two nights ago, I woke out of a sound sleep and could not breath, literally no inhale and no exhale other than a minor trickle. This went on for 2-3 minutes, my wife was freaking out and trying to clear my throat but there was no obstruction. Slowly over about...
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    Learning to see my CSA through my 10yo eyes

    I have now had about 20 weekly sessions with my T. Making progress but still stuck a little on a few things, ok more than a few. My T tells me all the time that I am viewing and judging my actions at that age through my current adult eyes as opposed to me 10yo self. I blame myself for never...
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    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    I totally understand but there is no one other than my T in this world that I would share this with other than my wife whom I love and trust 150%
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    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    Yes, 3 steps forward, 2 back
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    My wife joined me in a session with my T

    Yesterday I had my wife join in for my session. I have told my wife only the very basic info about my CSA and having her in the session allowed my T to help me fill in the grey spots. I think this was a very good session as she was able to tell my wife more than I can both clinically and...
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    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    Thank you, it is a journey with no clear end. I have invited my wife to join my next session tomorrow. I want my T to help explain my traumas, I am not able to do that yet myself
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    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    Discouraging in that you don't like your T or just don't like the additional traumas being raised? If it is the former, change and find someone you like if the latter, stay with it
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    3 Months of Weekly Therapy has dragged me out of the pit

    There is no doubt that therapy has saved me even if it has uncovered additional troubling traumas. I have been lifted out of the depths of debilitating depression and able to function but now I am learning how do deal with additional traumas that I had not considered before. Now my therapy is...
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