Recent content by DiamondBug

So yesterday therapy was really difficult for me, I felt that numb and distant that I couldn't really verbalise what was actually wrong with me. A lot of therapy was me sat in silence. My t kept asking questions and I kept giving quite short responses. I think partially because I couldn't stop...

So I've survived my 11th anniversary of being attacked this year it was really hard, as it normally is. I've been thinking about the attack in a lot more detail this year though, I'm not sure why. I've got therapy tomorrow which I want to have a proper in depth talk about the attack and the...

So I am approaching the "anniversary" of when I was attacked. I feel around this time my sleep worsens and the nightmares, today was the worst it's been in a while. I set alarms and slept all through them. It feels like I am aware in my sleep I have slept through my alarms, but I'm completely...

I've been in therapy for a year now. My therapist said that now I'm a lot "stronger" than I was and my boyfriend has said this as well. I really don't feel like it. I feel completely overcome with emotion still. I feel like I'm always on the egde of just crumbling. I was honest to him when we...

So this might sound a bit odd, but I can't stand people touching the crook of my arm. There's other places but this obviously gets touched the most. Even if I feel anything touch it my arms go up to protect it and it's a struggle sometimes to feel safe enough to put them back down. I went to...

Therapy has been really hard recently because of the stuff I've been talking about, it's really been making me feel a massive mix of strong emotions, because it involves my parents and sister. I was severely abused by them, in literally every way you can think of, starting from about 5, it ended...

So I have only just started to bring the fact that my dad and sister sexually abused me to the point in my head that I feel like I need to speak about it. I watched a documentary about something similar with my partner and realised that I can't hide this anymore. I need to rant. I just brought...

I have ptsd from being gang raped at 11, but I'm starting to prepare myself to tell my therapist and the first person ever that when I was attacked it wasn't the first time. I can't believe I'm typing this because I never thought I would, but I saw a TV programme last night about incest and I...

So I'm embarrassed about this. I sleep with a teddy and I really have to suck my thumb to sleep. It makes me feel safe enough to sleep. My boyfriend really dislikes both of these things though and I hate it. I can sort of understand why he doesn't like it but it makes a lot of nights bearable...

I feel so panicked recently, I've been sleeping really badly, I keep falling to sleep that fast I don't set alarms, I wake up screaming and running. I have to wash my hair everyday now because I'm drenched by the time I wake up. I wake up trying to shout at nothing. I think that something bad is...

I feel so unbearabley down at the minute. For the past few weeks I have cried or been very close to daily. I feel really bad about myself. I have been constantly thinking I don't deserve to live or eat, I know this may sound odd, I don't know where this has come from. I don't feel like I would...

Just to clear a few things up, I wrote this when I was in a absolute shit storm, I've had 5 hours sleep in 3 days, I didn't even proof read it, I was just ranting, I never said that it was definitely going to happen, it's the fact it's been even suggested, that's the terrifying thing. When I...

This may not make perfect sense, because my heads a mess right now. I literally can barely cope with this right now. I have a lot of things that I keep hidden. For a bit of back story I wrote on here the other day, the awful truth, that a classmate found my 11 year old battered and gang raped...

I went to therapy today after a my t had a two week holiday break today. He pretty much jumped straight into wanting to talk about a severe trauma that happened that I've never really spoke properly about, I could tell him up to a certain point before it felt like I hit a wall where I could no...

Thanks for your reply. It's really helpful for me to hear this from people, it just reminds you that you're not alone, even though I wish no one had to feel like this. I'm going to try and be open with my t about it, I hope I can stir up the courage! :hug: