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Recent content by Eternum

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    Retreat Mode

    Firstly, @itsKismet , please take my post tone in stride. I am feeling robotic and numb lately, which I think colors my tone in a way I don't intend. I don't know you well, yet something I have noticed in my short time on this forum is that you're around. I remember you. It's been my experience...
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    Feeling Useless, Pathetic, Like A Burden...

    This made something click for me. Now I have questions for you, @ground crew (lol, that sarcasm about rationalization), anyone who's been happening by this thread: is this part of the rift that divides the ignorant from those who have seen the worst of humanity? Is it that many (most?) want to...
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    Did Your Nightmares Start Gradually Or Right After You Had Trauma?

    @sonicwhite and @brat17... I'm not sure if I want to "like" your posts. I appreciate your openness, yes. And yet I have mixed feelings. I feel shocked and upset by the intensity of what you have gone through, and yet I'm relieved that the terror I feel isn't out of place here like it feels in...
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    Fear Of People?

    Awesome! You sound like you've definitely been on the right track. I haven't yet hit the post count to post links, but whenever I watch Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot on Youtube, I feel like I get a sense of what it's like for an INFJ. This world is just too small for your mind. :) :hug:
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    Feeling Useless, Pathetic, Like A Burden...

    Self-fulfilling prophecy? Gotta love it. :banghead: Thanks though. I could never understand why I'd hit the "stupid, immoral, unwholesome" part and never be satisfied with a job. That was illuminating. I wonder how much of that is PTSD. I know many people who can see the holes in our society...
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    Fear Of People?

    Thanks for explaining the deal with "anxiety issues." This makes sense. As to being INFJ, now this clicks in place. I'm an INTP, but I have a BFF who's INFJ. We have a ton of these kinds of conversations, especially about how people just don't want to or can't handle the deep connections you're...
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    Feeling Useless, Pathetic, Like A Burden...

    I still appreciate you posted a response, @reallydown. It does tell me you get it, that sometimes just "you're not alone" can help. The best thing I've found so far is to focus on something that makes me feel productive. Buuuut then it gets harder to justify leaving my project in my corner to...
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    Feeling Useless, Pathetic, Like A Burden...

    This is a major one that, despite years of work, I've not been able to kick. An expression I heard growing up is, "It's like spittin' in the wind." It's the feeling that, no matter what I do, it amounts to nothing. I spend a lot of time and energy in a community setting trying to be helpful or...
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    Fear Of People?

    I can relate to this, especially the sensation of hating people and wanting to hole up in my room to be left alone all the time. Even after years of work I'm still on edge around people. I don't think I'll ever be fully comfortable around them. In my case, I was never really concerned with what...
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    4th Of July

    Wow, @FridayJones, those are all amazing suggestions. Why you got to be so awesome?
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    4th Of July

    Yikes. :hug: if you'll take them @Joan. I don't have this issue, though if I did, I'd set up a number of things in advance: - If I had access to a room in the center of a house, away from windows, I'd turn it into a temporary studio. - Set up a computer, or consoles and a TV with games that...
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    Childhood What Did You Miss Out On Growing Up?

    I have to agree with @Recovery4Me. I hope you can find a therapist that is willing to be supportive of this. I do find it wise that, in the meantime, you're working on gathering information by asking these sorts of important questions. Good luck to you on your search. When I observe young...
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    Baby Steps

    Thank you @gizmo, that was sweet and encouraging. :D It's incredible what you've been through. I'm glad your persistence paid off. I do find that life continually stretches us. It says a ton about your strength already that you've endured all that and continue to build yourself to visit your...
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    Baby Steps

    sedbfkl;flknwsgbkljnTHANKYOU. *flail* That post was what I needed for everything to click in place after @Chava helped me realize it was an issue with structure. So thanks to the both of you, I was able to go back out today. :joyful::joyful::joyful: I went up to the roof patio that my...
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    Baby Steps

    First of all, I want to say I love your profile pic. Gave me a smile. :) Thank you for the suggestions, thoughts, questions. I have been mentally setting goals and destinations, to answer your questions, even if it's something like walking across the street to the store to get ice cream. :shy...
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