Recent content by FreeSoul

On 14 & 15 June, I was in a cafe and then in a restaurant respectively, and I noticed I wasn't looking around which I always did. I would often look at people everytime they moved from their seats or when the cafe door opened. There was complete silence in my mind, which is otherwise filled...

Glad it helped you. 🙂 Hope you get better and get the support you need.

Your words were really encouraging and supportive in relieving my pain and suffering. I thought couple of times of attempting something similar again so I could post another post here. I had to stop myself from doing it. Your post validated my pain and the threatening voice I had stuck in my...

I have few elder siblings, and they all have kids. One of my elder brothers would abuse my another brother’s children almost everyday. Surprisingly, their father never objected to the bullying. I couldn’t stand these kids being bullied right in front of me. I did some NLP exercises to build up...

After journaling about my trauma over the past 2+ years and researching psychopaths, narcissists, and sociopaths, I discovered the root causes of much of my emotional sufferings. In my childhood, my mother would taunt me because I was tanned, my sister would taunt me "you were brought from a...

It can be really frustrating and lonely when you don’t get support from the therapist, whose job is to support. Even worst is when they see things from the perspective of the abuser, and not the victim. It is not surprising to find such therapists. I hope you look for another therapist, and find...

One of the mistreatments by my family includes blaming me for their mistakes and failures. This terrified me and made me anxious everytime another person made a mistake or failed in something because I felt I could be targeted and blamed. Some examples include: My father put me at the front to...

I went to this counsellor couple of times. At first, I felt good. I felt relieved. I didn't even know what to expect from her, nor did she ever raise this during our nearly 20+ sessions. We only did talk therapy and I didn't even know what type of therapy would be most suitable for me. Even...

Susan Forward did mention in her book that there is going to be lashback. She gave examples of the abusers accusing the victim, physically attacking the victim, gaslighting the victim, etc. etc. My own experience has been similar. My father, sibling, and my father's friend denied ever doing...

I had been reading and researching childhood trauma. In the past 2 years, I have been able to get to the root of C-PTSD which I hadn't been able to in the previous years. Coming to acceptance that my siblings were the main abusers, my mother allowed all this in her presence, while my father...

It really helped being around supportive people. I remember once I was in NYC and I met another person who went to the same university as mine. We both were visiting NYC, and met for an evening. This person was extremely charming, friendly, and encouraging. In few hours, he had rubbed his charm...

I still feel guilty over several things, or rather anything I intend to do that has benefit in it for me. I have this core belief that I shouldn't do things that give me something to be happy about, something beneficial. I stay low, as if left abandoned, and shouldn't do anything worthwhile. In...

Seems good 🙂 I move from one book to another book without using the techniques in those books. Currently, I am struggling with communication. I found a book which has really good content on having conversations which I needed. I am unable to follow instructions from this book. I tried...

I see faces of people who would have criticized me in real had they been present with me when I am thinking of doing something. e.g. I am thinking of sharing my opinion or view on a dish I cooked, I automatically see the face or hear the voice of my father (in my mind) criticizing or demeaning...

Right now, I am not working with a therapist. I worked with a counsellor for few years which didn't help much. Hope to find a new one.