Recent content by FreeSoul

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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling lonely. For the first time, I believe that I am lonely. Up until now, I never believed that I have been living a lonely life of a trauma victim; which in some ways is good because I have accepted my reality rather than denying it, like I did all these years.
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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Great to hear from another keto fan, and about your success story as well. The dietician recommended the amount of veggies which I just make a guess. I measured first few days, and then I make a guess of how much 7-10 cups might be when I place them in a bowl before extracting the juice. My carb...
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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    I've been on keto diet for little more than a month, and the dietician recommended 7-10 cups of veggies which is way too much to eat; so I make fresh veggie juice out of it. I had some onion rings (onions are not allowed on keto diet, and I cheated), fried salmon, and a cup of coffee. I also...
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    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    Ever since my father got into a business partnership with these 3 psychopaths/narcissists around the year 2010, I started to get suicidal thoughts. I was looking at different ways of committing suicide; and quite fortunately and by coincidence, I came across this book in 2010, The 50th Law by...
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    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I noticed something in myself about 2 years back when I was travelling with my narcissistic father. We were camping in a huge tent with about 200 other people. There were hundreds other such tents and the entire camping site, which spread over few hundred acres, was highly secured. I was sick...
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    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I wanted to share this on this forum but was really hesitant because I thought people would laugh at me and make fun of me. I typed this first on my computer on 25 December 2020, and didn’t post it until now. I built some courage and understanding, and finally decided to put it up on this forum...
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    My Diaries by FreeSoul

    I decided to make a single thread in which I will post my problems, experiences, solutions, happy moments of recovery (even if little), etc. so that I don't have to make a new thread every time I post something new.
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    Triggered By Criticism And Accusations And Seeing Conflict

    Thank you. I visited a therapist for few years; but she was causing me more suffering than actually helping. I feel really worried of going to another one because of my experience with the previous one; especially when I don't have a stable income, and therapists don't come cheap. I have been...
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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    Veal feet stew with rice. Been eating since I was a kid.
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    What do you need emotionally right now, and why?

    Comfort from the anxiety I have been suffering all my life, and assurance that I will not be abused again, nor will I be accused of things I haven't done.
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    Abuser is dying

    The conflict between seeing my abusers suffer and the fact that they too suffered trauma in their childhood confuses me as well. Since I am still recovering from my traumatic past, I often swing between the two. I do wish to focus on my own life rather than telling them anything now, because...
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    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    It's 7 a.m. in my country, and I haven't slept at all last night. I just lay in the bed, watching videos, not feeling sleepy at all. I remember from 2013 onwards, finding it difficult to sleep at night, or staying asleep all night; i.e. either I stay up all night and sleep during the day, or I...
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    What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

    Right now, at this very moment, I just want to go away from this abusive and traumatic environment where I don't get the love, respect, care, and recognition I ought to have. I want to go somewhere no one knows me, so that I don't have to feel ashamed that people might figure out that I am a...
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I am feeling angry and crazy at my father because he destroyed me financially. He destroyed my motivation and courage to do anything that could help me earn an income. I feel devastated, and due to financial constraints, I am unable to distance myself from my abusive family which could help me...
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    What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

    I feel ashamed that I haven't achieved anything worthwhile in my life that could make my parents happy and make them love me. I know they aren't capable of loving me regardless of what I do or what I achieve because they are not capable of loving not only me, but they can't even love their own...
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