Recent content by Gatsu

  1. G

    Questing for understanding.

    God what if nobody is ever going to understand why I never left. What if I am just a weak, scared little boy like everyone of them said I was. Thoughts of self harm have been rampant lately, I remember how the adrenaline would kick up when I did, how vengeful it felt, how it felt like I could...
  2. G

    Questing for understanding.

    I suppose I can sort of do whatever i want with this thread here, it being my diary. So I guess I'll use it for what I want. This week has been pretty shit for no reason other than my brain's not working the way it's supposed to, I hate that so much. No sleep, days of just staring emptily into...
  3. G

    Struggling to sleep in the summer.

    In response to 1.) I've heard of EMDR before, my S/O attends sessions of it regularly. I've never had a trauma therapist out of fear that my parents would somehow find out and I would face consequences. It's led to a lot of T-hopping and I've never been comfortable/confident enough to seek out...
  4. G

    Questing for understanding.

    I've never had a journal or diary before. Maybe it was a part of my self-imposed superstition that but the words in my mind to ink would make them real. I'm going to try and just make a list today. I can do that, I'm strong enough today. Catholic Private school The teacher who hated me pt.1...
  5. G

    Recommendations for kids animated films?

    If you like fantastic animation and a heart warming story, Studio Ghibli is the first place I look, top of the list would My Neighbor Totoro, Kiki's Delivery Service and Ponyo. Anything by Hayao Miyazaki really, he's up there with the man Walt Disney himself. If your looking for something more...
  6. G

    What Are You Looking Forward To?

    I'm really looking forward to the concert I'm going to with my girlfriend and my brother, they are one of my favorite groups and their new album was awesome, I also like ALL of the side acts. A rare occurrence.
  7. G

    Struggling to sleep in the summer.

    The insight here is incredible, thank you for offering so much information. I don't currently work and I don't have insurance so finding a therapist is really hard, I'm native so I have my tribe but there are horror stories about Native healthcare for a reason. My next appointment to start the...
  8. G

    Struggling to sleep in the summer.

    Besides from when I was very young I have always lived in the state of Oklahoma (rough already I know), in 2013 I lived in a town called Moore. That year in May there was a massive tornado that tore through my town and killed more than a few people. I was at football practice at the time and I...
  9. G

    Sufferer PTSD and Generational trauma. Self-H, Abuse, Natural disasters, rambling.

    Thank you for your positivity and perspective. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was very young (around 8 years old) which led to my mother subjecting me to rigorous testing up until I was well into my teens. The medication always felt so forced on me and now I think it's hard to not remember how...
  10. G

    Sufferer PTSD and Generational trauma. Self-H, Abuse, Natural disasters, rambling.

    Today is the anniversary of my uncle's death. Which for me means that on this day however many years ago I experienced the first in a cascade of traumatic moments that haven't taken the liberty of letting up. First it was my father leaving for Iraq, then New Orleans (immediately after Katrina)...
Top