Besides from when I was very young I have always lived in the state of Oklahoma (rough already I know), in 2013 I lived in a town called Moore. That year in May there was a massive tornado that tore through my town and killed more than a few people. I was at football practice at the time and I remember how quickly the sky turned this sickening green color, like a lens had passed over where I was standing on the practice field. I remember my coach telling us to get changed in the locker room and how quickly that turned into sprinting for what felt like our lives when the sirens began to blare out that horrible noise that makes me uneasy every Saturday. I vividly remember seeing it, the sky looked like it had been torn from the ground up, a monolithic pyramid inverted with flashes of light near the tip, power flashes from where it was destroying the homes of people I saw everyday. The absolute fear of something I could nothing about. A literal force of nature. I still see it every week when I try to sleep on the weekends, I've developed a nasty habit of staying up for days to crash out during the weekend. There have been more tornados since then, some even getting close to where I lived. That fear returns every time and I have wretched flashbacks of that day and I spiral into panic attacks hiding myself in the pantry with all my cats and dogs (3 of each). I hate that feeling so much. I hate feeling it so often. I have no idea what to do when it's something I have to deal with so regularly. It's projected to rain next week and I already feel sick to my stomach. The impulse to keep the weather channel open at all times even during a light rain. I don't know how to even approach this problem.