Recent content by laverite

We all want to be loved and accepted for ALL of who we are, the good/bad/ugly. So I think it's great that you told your partner about the REAL you. It's his choice what he'll do with that information, and based on what you posted, it sounds like he really cares and wants to do the right thing...

Hi, I totally understand the feelings of having been abused (my father sexually abused me). What was done to you was totally wrong, evil, and criminal. You are not at fault. It's normal to feel deeply wounded by these types of things. You were definitely not mature enough to choose or even...

Hi again! I'm so very happy that my words encouraged you. You are on a journey now, and it's so great, so healthy, that you are facing your pain and working thru it. That's the only way to truly heal, because the other option is to bury it in substance abuse, self-harm, mental instability...

I wasn't told not to tell, but I chose not to tell because I knew it would destroy my mom (my father was the sexual abuser) and my whole family. Well, guess what? It almost destroyed ME. And then my whole family ended up finding out anyway because I had to tell my brother so that he'd protect...

Yes, flashbacks are common. When children are abused, they don't have the coping skills to deal with it, so it gets pushed WAY down, sometimes even to the point where it's forgotten (however, it manifests itself in all kinds of unhealthy ways in teen years or early adulthood, which is when the...

Yes, absolutely there is hope! I had PTSD for years, tried to stuff it down, pretended a lot, until I felt dead inside. You didn't say what caused yours, and it can be lots of different things, but for me it was rape. Each person's triggers will be different depending on what caused the...

Oh dear, when I read this, my heart skipped a beat. I guess I've really been miscommunicating, because I totally agree with you that legalism is wrong. I do everything possible to avoid it. Like you, I don't believe that we have to "earn God's healing"... but I do know too many people who've...

Thanks for your response to my post. I hope I didn't give the impression that marriage or God will "fix" everything. I meant that marriage is the only place where you'll be in a committed, safe (hopefully) relationship where sex won't leave us feeling used and abused. And as far as God goes...

I was also sexually abused (by my father, and I was older than you) and it did a great deal of damage. I'm now 62 and will always have the scars from that abuse. Everyone deals with sexual abuse differently; some become promiscuous (as I did), some become asexual, some turn to addictions like...

As one who was also sexually abused by my father and hid it from my family for YEARS, I can tell you that it's absolutely necessary that your father is held accountable for what he did to you. Abusers depend on their victims not telling because of fear. Don't let him get away with this! When...

I understand that you love your mom, but is it possible to tell her the truth (oh, such relief in that!) and also tell her that your goal is to maintain a great relationship with her but also have her know what is REAL and TRUE for you? The purpose of telling her isn't for her to agree with you...

Hi, I'm so glad you're reaching out here. It's so great that you are wanting to deal with this past abuse and get healing. I'll share my experience, and offer some tips, but I also have questions. I'm wondering how old you are, if you live with your mom or aunt, and if you have a support...

You sound like quite a survivor! I can totally relate, as I was in a cult too, and when I left it I was very lost. We humans all need to have a sense of the meaning of life and what our purpose is, and what standards to live by. Unfortunately, the culture we live in isn't too helpful, not to...