Other humanity - (cult recovery)

[saraemerald]

I grew up a Jehovah's Witness. Everyone else has grown up in a different belief system. Mine was therapeutic for me growing up because it seemed better than my insane family I grew up with. I followed this religion/cult to a tea because I truly thought it had something amazing to offer. It really gave me nothing

 

[Muttly]

hi, I am sorry that you have had the crazy family and the experiences with your religion growing up. I have to admit, I'm not sure what you are looking for in this post and how the post connects to the title "Humanity"?

 

[saraemerald]

I feel like I lost my sense of humanity when I left this religion/cult I don't know where to go from here.

 

[shimmerz]

This is why cults are so dangerous. They become one's identity and when it comes to turning away from them the cult has so wrapped its testicles around you that sense of identity is totally shattered. I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Are you seeing a therapist at all?

 

[Muttly]

That's really hard. I am glad you are connecting with us here. What does humanity mean to you? I've read some of your posts and I know that you used the cult to try to have a sense of worth. I understand that's important to you. For some people that will be a defining part of humanity. For others humanity may mean having feelings. The reason I'm asking is it seems like maybe if you can focus in, it will be easier to connect with the things that give you a sense of humanity. I could be totally off track

 

[saraemerald]

That's really hard. I am glad you are connecting with us here. What does humanity mean to you? I've read some of your posts and I know that you used the cult to try to have a sense of worth. I understand that's important to you. For some people that will be a defining part of humanity. For others humanity may mean having feelings. The reason I'm asking is it seems like maybe if you can focus in, it will be easier to connect with the things that give you a sense of humanity. I could be totally off track

I just don't understand why i broke my standards when i left and became very self destructive. I'm so confused.
I used to have high self esteem and felt connected and loved life even despite some crazy hardships. Arrgghh! I used to have way more control over my brain than I do now and it's both mind boggling to e and pisses me the f*ck off.

This is why cults are so dangerous. They become one's identity and when it comes to turning away from them the cult has so wrapped its testicles around you that sense of identity is totally shattered. I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Are you seeing a therapist at all?

Identity sucks! Stealing someone's identity is so stupid. Humans who think they are in control of someone elses life or other ppls life, are phychotic. Why is life so freaking confusing?!!!

 

[Friday]

I just don't understand why i broke my standards when i left and became very self destructive. I'm so confused.

Because it’s completely normal to reject everything when a person rejects one thing, and only add things back in piece by piece as you decide what has value and what should remain rejected... and it takes time to rewrite one’s own moral code from scratch instead of simply following someone else’s?

It’s so normal to reject everything when rejecting one thing, that there’s saying that goes along with it, as a word of caution “Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater!”

Most people never go through the process of deciding for themselves what’s right & wrong... so there’s no nifty saying to share that I know of... because they’ve had the opportunity to be presented with at least a framework of right & wrong that they can largely follow exactly as it’s written, and just have to tweak the details as they live and learn here and there. Usually that framework comes in the form of rules (family, school, etc.), laws, their religious beliefs, ethical practices of their specific career, etc.

I’ve never met a person who had to start from scratch, re-examining everything, that didn’t both
- Get self destructive, at least for a time (because how we treat ourselves is part of that rule list that’s getting re-written, as standards are literally being created )
- Do things they were later ashamed of (having decided they were wrong, the shame tends to be a bit deeper IME, because it’s not someone else telling me what I did was wrong, but my own self)

And all of that? Isn’t even including the PTSD part, where symptoms are sabotaging your life... on top of your own learning what you believe in, and where you were going to draw the line / creating your own limits, creating your own rules, decifding what’s right & wrong, & creating brand spanking new standards for yourself and your life.

 

[saraemerald]

This is why cults are so dangerous. They become one's identity and when it comes to turning away from them the cult has so wrapped its testicles around you that sense of identity is totally shattered. I am so sorry this has happened to you.

Are you seeing a therapist at all?

Yes i am seeing therapist

 

[Ronin]

I feel like I lost my sense of humanity

A thing to keep in mind: a) It is a feeling / it may & will change, even if it takes years,
b) a sense of humanity... Not the actual humanity. :)

Nothing can make you lose your humanity, much less leaving toxic fellas.
You have done something incredibly difficult, & kudos on.

 

[laverite]

You sound like quite a survivor! I can totally relate, as I was in a cult too, and when I left it I was very lost. We humans all need to have a sense of the meaning of life and what our purpose is, and what standards to live by. Unfortunately, the culture we live in isn't too helpful, not to mention, it's constantly changing! What was "true" and "right" a century ago, or even 10 years ago, has completely shifted. This is confusing and doesn't lend itself to building a solid foundation for life. One message our culture is promoting currently is that you can make your own truth. Well, that doesn't make much sense, because if my truth conflicts with your truth, then which one is really true? Another message is that you should look out for yourself above others, and seek happiness above all other pursuits. However, that usually causes us to hurt others and become very self-centered. That's the opposite of what God teaches us in the Bible: to look out for the interests of others, and to pursue a holy life above a happy life. I've found that the most fulfilling life happens when I'm doing things for others, connecting with people at church, reading the Word, etc. Do you want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control in your life? These are the benefits of life in Christ. I'm not trying to preach to you, just to tell you how I've found my solid foundation, truth that is absolute because God made it (rather than the subjective truth that every person makes up for themselves), and I've been set free from a bunch of lies that made me hate myself, look down on others, harbor unforgiveness that only made ME miserable, and think that I wasn't good enough to be loved, hired, or included. Some of these resources helped me a lot and I hope you'll check them out: How Do I Know Which Religion Is True? | A Listly List I truly want the best for you and want to see you set free from your struggle. I'll be praying for you.

 

[saraemerald]

You sound like quite a survivor! I can totally relate, as I was in a cult too, and when I left it I was very lost. We humans all need to have a sense of the meaning of life and what our purpose is, and what standards to live by. Unfortunately, the culture we live in isn't too helpful, not to mention, it's constantly changing! What was "true" and "right" a century ago, or even 10 years ago, has completely shifted. This is confusing and doesn't lend itself to building a solid foundation for life. One message our culture is promoting currently is that you can make your own truth. Well, that doesn't make much sense, because if my truth conflicts with your truth, then which one is really true? Another message is that you should look out for yourself above others, and seek happiness above all other pursuits. However, that usually causes us to hurt others and become very self-centered. That's the opposite of what God teaches us in the Bible: to look out for the interests of others, and to pursue a holy life above a happy life. I've found that the most fulfilling life happens when I'm doing things for others, connecting with people at church, reading the Word, etc. Do you want love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control in your life? These are the benefits of life in Christ. I'm not trying to preach to you, just to tell you how I've found my solid foundation, truth that is absolute because God made it (rather than the subjective truth that every person makes up for themselves), and I've been set free from a bunch of lies that made me hate myself, look down on others, harbor unforgiveness that only made ME miserable, and think that I wasn't good enough to be loved, hired, or included. Some of these resources helped me a lot and I hope you'll check them out: How Do I Know Which Religion Is True? | A Listly List I truly want the best for you and want to see you set free from your struggle. I'll be praying for you.

Thank you so much for your reply. I want ME back sooo much!