Recent content by llv88

Ocean5, thank you. It is very overwhelming to actually know, or even suspect. It's also pretty amazing how the mind works to "protect" us. Any older relatives I might have considered telling have passed, and I'm not close with any one (I just don't trust people).I have my husband and kids and...

Thank you everyone for your support. You all bring up very good points and I intend to work on the answers. I do trust my therapist, been with him for eight years and he didn't come to this dx lightly. Many questions were asked. I think I'm in shock over the idea that my body (or mind) had to...

My t just changed my primary dx from ptsd to dissociation and is asking about alters to protect a little girl in my head from a bully in my head that wants us dead (So he can work on the bully first). I'm so scared. I don't know what to think. I don't have anyone to talk to, tried to talk to...

Thank you for your very honest responses. That finally helps me I hope to see the ways it affects children. I have an appointment with my therapist this morning. I do love my kids. They are my world, and sometimes the pain outweighs anything good. I'm sorry if I triggered any of you, that was...

I have had a plan for a long time, I have a couple dates. What I don't have is confirmation my kids will be OK. I fail them as a parent living, can't imagine it'll be worse if i'm gone. My therapist will just tell me I would do "irreparable harm" but won't tell me what that means. My kids are my...

My husband knows my traumas, but recently the nfl ray rice thing has him frustrated and he feels the need to vent to me about it. He wanted me to watch the video. I told him I couldn't because it is a trigger. He proceeds to explain in great detail the video anyway. I try not to dissociate on...

The Window of tolerance as he calls it is the place I can process things the best. If I get pushed too far in a session I mostly shut down and go numb. And this Window isn't very big right now, so yes he's teaching me coping skills too that I practice pretty regularly. The difference this time...

My t keeps working on my Window of tolerance and we are talking about the reality is I am safe now, everything happened long ago. So as he was telling me this I could feel this protector I've had in me come out and get tough and take over the situation. Not in an alter personality way, just in a...

I woke up today with major anxiety. There are days when I open my eyes and am in a panic attack. I don't understand it, but it just happens. Today is one of those days. My inner critic is so loud today with all the self loathing and judgments. Ugh! I'm trying to be mindful, acknowledge and...

I too avoid the dentist as much as possible. Last time I had to go, I found one that has experience with people with trauma, and I explained I had a dx of PTSD and he was super great about it, even told the assistant to watch my neck area and getting too close (making me feel too claustrophobic)...

I feel: tired depressed anxious

I am taking .5mg of clonazepam up to 3 times a day for major anxiety. Most days I only take it 2 times, but there have been the 3 times/day lately. I find it helps most of the time.

Thank you for writing about this. I've noticed I cycle with my ptsd and this is one of the symptoms too. I haven't explored it with my T yet, because it is embarrassing and shameful. I've noticed the impulse is much stronger (and lasts longer) after I've been triggered and/or have so much...

@BloomInWinter that helps me a lot. Thank you. My T is very aware and points out when and what probably triggered me if he sees I'm especially distressed. He's also aware of the "window of tolerance" as he puts it, and eases up if he pushes me beyond it as I just dissociate anyway. And he always...

I'm new here and I'm sorry if this isn't the right place to post this... I'm at a point in my work with my therapist where he's wanting me to trust him, and pointing out that for years I've been going to him and it's been a safe place. I don't give people trust easy (as I'm sure is the case...