Not Sure This Is Working

[llv88]

My t keeps working on my Window of tolerance and we are talking about the reality is I am safe now, everything happened long ago. So as he was telling me this I could feel this protector I've had in me come out and get tough and take over the situation. Not in an alter personality way, just in a "over my dead body are we going to test that theory anymore on this girl who's had enough". And I don't feel her there anymore anyway (no inner child) so I go numb. Now even though I felt we were making progress before I feel like I need a break. I am also starting to feel suicidal just because I don't feel like I can be fixed. It's Just that I have 2 kids. I've taken medication to relax and feel safe. I feel utterly broken trapped with my nightmares and memories.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

What is a 'window of tolerance' exactly? I've never really heard that used before. Is your therapist also teaching you coping skills to manage your symptoms better?

 

[llv88]

The Window of tolerance as he calls it is the place I can process things the best. If I get pushed too far in a session I mostly shut down and go numb. And this Window isn't very big right now, so yes he's teaching me coping skills too that I practice pretty regularly. The difference this time is he's challenging my deep belief that I'm not safe and I have to always be on guard. And I think I started to entertain the idea, but the protective side of me just shut it down (not going to ever be vulnerable again) and now I feel like that's just how is going to be and I'm forever stuck.

 

[Britt.f7]

Thing about life is it is always changing. Where I thought I was stuck last year, I am no longer in that spot. This can happen. Please do not give up. You may need to step back, or to the side, for now, but, especially with children, it is important to not give up.