Recent content by marylouise

Thankfully, I haven't had to deal with depression for many years, with the exception of the holidays. Before I met my husband, a gloom would descend over me for at least some part of the holidays. It was just like clinical depression, with the accompanying negativism and hopelessness, though it...

In some communities, becoming a cop - or a fireperson, or corrections officer - is a straightforward means to a respectable, unionized, well-paying job in which a person can expect an early retirement and a large pension. These options may follow some time in the military, which is seen as...

Yes! It sounds like you were able to take care of Bristol and yourself. And it sounds like you made a new friend!

@vtap, I wanted to say that I was numb to the desire to have an intimate relationship when I started my recovery. Embarrassing, yes, but I used to think: why would attractive people want to get married or have a boyfriend? why not just roam around and have fun with various, interesting...

@scout86, Usually in healing from my family constellation and trauma issues, progress is slow. There have been just a couple of days in my life that changed things for me, the trajectory of my life. I think you may have had one of those. Congratulations, again!

@Notsowild, I learned to be assertive by doing just what you're doing! I laughed so hard when I saw your initial post, because that is exactly what I went through. You try to be firm, people react, you tone it down (or you don't, in some cases, if they deserve it). You're clearly self-aware, so...

HAVE FUN! Well, I know sometimes it doesn't work out like that, but I figure going out makes life more interesting no matter what. At least, it's not boring. : ) I've also found that if I go out, I can make friends and have fun. If I don't go out, I don't make friends or have fun EVER. I hope...

Assertiveness is certainly the goal, but initially I overreached in setting my boundaries and went all aggressive at first but eventually figured out how to tone that down and communicate assertively. You'll get there. I was better off angry than passive. In the meantime, you may want to look...

@scout86, I'm so glad I was able to be witness your story here. You are amazing in your capacity for growth and change. And the rat bastard is stuck in the past with his limited way of being in the world. Your life is a triumph.

scout86, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like a big one. I hope you are able to honor your father's memory today.

@digger, I'm sorry. That sounds like a terrible burden to live with. I hope you can find some peace from it.

I'm not sure about this, but it seems like there are two different impulses going on here, @digger, but you should tell me if I'm wrong. The first is around being worried you may have or act on suicidal thoughts. You said you won't because of your son, but you worry that your reason is not...

I have a different perspective on this. It's something I've thought about a fair amount too, since I was actively suicidal when I was in my teens/early 20s. I don't think it matters why you are staying alive now. Your son would be devastated if you killed yourself, and not just that, if you...

Be careful. You don't really know this person. He's not a friend. You don't know if it's safe to share your experience with him. I definitely wouldn't share your PTSD with him unless you are comfortable with *everybody* in your workplace knowing about it. I'm normally comfortable with sharing a...

I've struggled to understand pediophilia. I was sexually abused as a child, but I don't think my abusers were pedophiles. I think they were what the article calls situational abusers. They had bad boundaries. They lacked empathy, as @WillyKat says about abusers. All were alcoholics. They were...