Recent content by OneToughCookie

I feel the law is so arbitrary in what is considered what type of crime or a crime at all and what actions deserves what level of punishment, so on that front not really. However, if I think about it in terms of spiritual crimes/violation of human rights that does help me put the blame back on...

Thank you so much for your response. Man, this sucks. <3 Glad it seems like you don't think that way anymore. I've had multiple as well, which makes it so hard to avoid self-blame. Hope you're hanging in there.

Hey. I haven't been on here in a long time, but I'm revisiting my trauma through some more exposure therapy. One of the things I remember about my rape is dissociating and being brought back by orgasm. In the morning, the people outside the room clearly indicated I was loudly moaning the...

Thanks for your replies. I know it may seem like a crazy reaction. My last relationship was with a guy for about two years as well, and he was kind and loving to me the whole time. Then, in the span of a few months he got a little too aggressive during sex, raged in a way that scared me, broke...

Hi. I am dating a man from beyond my dreams and have been for nearly two years now. He is kind, patient, thoughtful, dedicated, and my other half. Today when we were walking somewhere together, I was very irritable. He asked me if I wanted him to read something to me on his phone about our...

That's really helpful, @joeylittle. I'll give it a shot! Thanks so much!

Thankfully, my boyfriend is amazing and treats me wonderfully. Still, on my bad days I can be really mean to myself and hate myself. I've been with him a year, and have only just begun internalizing the messages. I think my beliefs would change much more quickly if I weren't undoing his positive...

I had an idea today to conquer my severe prolonged abuse and it's effects by being severely nice to myself for even longer. What can I do to be almost excessively nice to myself to reverse the messages I've received and perpetuated?

You're really sweet, @Simply Simon . Pointing out that I just went through a really hard thing helps; I am still minimizing it at this point, so it helps me feel like less of a failure and reduce my expectations of myself. :) Thanks for the support!

I thought the same thing. I took an Uber twice yesterday. When we went past the scene of the accident, I re-experienced some terror and physical pain, and dissociated a bit. Otherwise, I just had minor hypervigilance. Thanks for responding even though you haven't been in an accident. It helps me...

Hi, @rab91 . The first time I told my therapist, I definitely was worried about going back. I was afraid of being judged, afraid I was wrong, afraid to betray my family, and afraid I was crazy. It's perfectly normal. All I can tell you is that it gets better. The first 6 weeks or so talking...

Hi, @Fadeaway . Thanks so much for responding! That's really good to know. I'm still really sore, so I'm taking it easy and resting, but as soon as I start feeling physically well enough (probably two-three more days), I'll pack my schedule with socialization. For today, I'll stick to video chat...

Yesterday I was driving and had a green light. A car went when it wasn't supposed to, and I T-boned him. Physically, I'm pretty OK, but I'm worried because I already have PTSD from child abuse and two sexual assaults. I'm already experiencing difficulty sleeping, feelings of terror, a feeling it...

Thank you for this visualization. I'll keep it in mind, and hope it will help!

I'm so very happy to hear that!!! I know what you mean about the disconnect between your rational thoughts and your deep-rooted emotional beliefs. I still haven't internalized feelings of being deserving. It will take a long time, but it's possible. At least at present I'm able to give myself...