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Recent content by Sues

  1. Sues

    Relapsed again :(

    Yes, I've had many times that I've self harmed days in a row. I'll scratch the scabs off and keep the injury there longer because that helps too. There's the shame, embarrassment, and self hatred involved, but still I do it, repeatedly. Then I'll overcome it for a while and fight not to do it...
  2. Sues

    had a dream i was cutting myself again and it felt good

    It's impossible to talk about this with others that don't understand. No one knows except my therapist, and he is really good about it. He knows it's not suicide, and that it's a coping mechanism. I was really struggling tonight. I had a bad week, and today was particularly bad.
  3. Sues

    had a dream i was cutting myself again and it felt good

    This makes sense to me too. I've struggled for many years as well. It's only been a little while since I last cut. Maybe 3 months, but before that it was probably a year or more. I feel the shame and guilt afterward, but I like the pain and marks/cuts afterward. I don't know if that makes sense...
  4. Sues

    Gf broke up with me after triggering comment

    She asked for space, so give her that. That means don't contact her, don't ask her questions, leave her alone until your date to reconnect and communicate. If you violate that space, it will feel like a violation to her and that she can't trust you. I know this is hard and horrible for you, but...
  5. Sues

    What do you find helpful when inner tension comes up in therapy?

    My therapist has asked me what I need or what helps me and over time we've discovered together what works. For me, breathing is my best go to, but when I'm disassociating (I actually do this a lot in therapy), it's hard for me to do anything or to respond. My therapist waits, gives me some...
  6. Sues

    How Did You Sleep Last Night?

    One big, long nightmare. I was back in that bad place. 😞
  7. Sues

    Coming up to first anniversary

    Hi Sophiem121 I relate to this a lot. "trauma-versaries" will kick your ass. I have a lot of them (I have CPTSD), and often my body and anxiety will start acting up before I even realize what's going on or what the date is. This is normal. It sucks. I try to use grounding techniques when it...
  8. Sues

    How are you coping with Epstein news? (not a debate thread)

    There's so much, and it's all so, so bad. Just scrolling IG is dangerous now and impossible to get away from it.
  9. Sues

    Prayer Requests

    I'm praying for you Tanishq, for God's intervention in bringing the right helpers and supporters to you. I plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, spirit, and body for strength, healing, and comfort, in Jesus' name!
  10. Sues

    Trauma - Physical punishment

    Hi and welcome to the forum! Nothing to be ashamed of. I self harm and punish myself by hurting myself.
  11. Sues

    Suicidal Timeframes

    Yes. This exactly. This is what I do to make it through what I call the rough times. I also bury it in my head. I have a lot of experience with burying all of the bad stuff. It's been a go to coping mechanism for a very long time. It doesn't work well, but it gets me through some stuff for a...
  12. Sues

    How voluntary is your dissociation?

    I can relate to this. Most of the time, almost always, it's not voluntary. I have no control over it. I don't even know it's happening until it happens. But, on the very rare occasion that I can feel myself "drifting" for lack of a better word, I can let myself sink the rest of the way into the...
  13. Sues

    Intensive EMDR week and loss of trust

    OMFG, Yeah, you absolutely need to do, and practice repeatedly, the safe space thing before you start EMDR. That's just basic stuff, and very necessary. This is not good at all. It sounds like the therapist doing the EMDR was not trained properly and they can cause more damage. I wanted to ask...
  14. Sues

    I don't know what to do about our neighbors

    I can relate to this! I live in a condo and our previous neighbors would slam their front door so hard it rattled the walls. The door slamming and walls are both huge triggers for me. Our current neighbor has a child that bounces off the walls and runs up and down the stairs creating so much...
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