Recent content by TheMinsterman

From an OCD sufferer here, thank you for showing some understanding. It can be very hard to get anybody not think it's a cute quirk or not really understand it. I sadly have the intrusive thoughts ("Pure OCD"), everyone think's its just cute compulsions and brush it off, I am glad you showed...

@Snowflakes it's a horrible place to be, when we realise we've simply been pushed as far as we can go, when we have been hurt more than we can bear or explain away with their condition. My thoughts are with you, my wishes are with you.

@Snowflakes, I'm glad to know I've managed to help you through all of this, you're right, this community is very supportive. I do feel though that there was never enough positive stories of people who break up and don't stay with their partners, I wanted to make sure people saw those too because...

@Linzee is correct, don't let yourself be defined by how they treat you. It's hard not to take it personally but very often it isn't intended to be or a reflection of your value, they're coping the best way they know how, sometimes it isn't healthy, sometimes it is, if I am being blunt, quite...

It's been a while since I posted, but I felt this was very important to post, for those going through all this as I was, to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, however dark it may be right now. I've not posted in a while because I've been working on myself, part of that was...

I'll make one point, stop thinking you'll never make anything as good as when you were with her. Because it wasn't good, she has treated you quite appallingly in some ways, don't put her in a pedestal and your relationship either, it ended because it was flawed, you'll never have a relationship...

Do you actually want to re-involve him in your life? I ask because if you do, you need to be sure it won't de-rail your own recovery. I made the decision to continue to have my ex in my life, we've been speaking much more lately, she's been opening up again too, but there's no guarantee it'll...

It's not so much lack of logic, but logic from a different place to ours. Everything they do is very much logical from their world view and makes perfect sense, you have to be careful not to suggest they're illogical, as they're not, it's just their sense of self and the world around them isn't...

You're not weak @Hojay. You're incredibly strong, you have to be to have gotten this far, to be so supportive, so loving, so caring.

It's pure speculation but "I need to be alone" and "I need somebody" can both be true. If she/he see's you as dangerous now, they do need to be alone, from you. But they may also not be able to cope without feeling like somebody has their backs, they may only feel safe in relationships, this new...

The way to think of it is simply this way. You make your decisions from a place of security where you feel safe, you have time to make them etc. For her? She lives in chaos, every decision she makes is critical to her immediate survival, she's living day by day just trying to survive. Her...

One thing you're going to need to learn is, in situations like this, you're searching for logic where there is none. I am not saying people with PTSD are all like this, but very often they make choices that rationally and logically to us make absolutely no sense, like "I want space and be...

@monsterade then it sounds like the key thing for you is to detach yourself from her and focus on your feelings that perhaps you were becoming abusive, you have to remove yourself from her emotional interpretation of what you did. For example, my ex felt I betrayed her when I encouraged her to...

This may, or may not, come across as patronising but, as a 30 year old man to a 20 year old man, I've been there. My first really serious girlfriend was around the same age, we dated for four years before she suddenly started to withdraw on me, lose interest and then broke up with me (for a...

Take time for yourself. Do not get back out there, believe me, it won't help even though they're only being kind thinking of you, you need time to heal yourself before you're ready for somebody new. It won't erase the experience or your ex, it never does. Taking care of yourself looks like...